My Story Part II

I recently wrote to my hound friend, SunEday, that if only I could get my son home, I was going to go public with my story so that other women in my situation would know that they are not alone, and hopefully create enough of a stir to stop this abuse in its tracks. What I planned on doing if only I could get my son home was to start some kind of campaign to stop MSBP from being used in court in the US. I wanted to have consequenses for the actions of folks who think it is okay to throw this term around and wreck lives. I want there to be laws against allowing this "syndrome" from being used in court. In the UK, this "syndrome" has been discredited and any cases where children were taken and motheres accused are being brought back and reviewed. Why is it still allowed in the good ole US of A? Other countries are also starting to question this "diagnosis". Why not the US? Don't we have rights to be innocent until proven guilty? I have since decided upon learning that I will not be bringing my son home, that I will do this anyway. I do not want to change the world. I just want to protect other mothers and thier children. This should not have happened to me and I want to help prevent it from happening to others. Someone needs to put aside thier fear of being labeled a child abuser and stop this madness. I will stand up, and I will not be afraid for myself.

I will, however be afraid for my son. I will worry about his acid reflux, his fears, and the abuse he receives at the hands of the courts, his dad, and the whole system. It is not only my life being wrecked by being accused, it is also my son's life. He was coasting along in life living with me, then one day is told he can never go home. How is that okay for someone to decide? How is that okay for anyone to toss this "syndrome" out there about someone falsely? How can there be no consequence for people to make these accusations with no proof, cause someome (almost always the mother in the case of MSBP) to lose thier child, and expect that all will be okay? Does the one who makes the accusation get to say to themselves I did not hurt anyone by saying this? Does the one who makes the accusation get to pretend to the world that they had the child's best interest at heart? If the accuser had the child's best interest at heart, why in this case was the Dept of Children and Family Services not called? Is that not the protocal for turning someone in for child abuse? Of course the accuser in this case did not call DCFS. I had not actually done anything wrong. DCFS can't help take my child away and give custody to my ex if they don't find any abuse. At the risk of sounding paranoid, the original accuser in my case had reason to slander me. I was protecting my son's rights at school. I would go to the school any time my son complained about a problem that did not get resolved. I would talk to the teacher or the principal. I would go to the playground at recess where he said other children bullied him. I would defend his rights as a person to not be a victim of bullies and an unrealistic teacher. I did make complaints against the teacher. That is my right as a parent. If I feel she is not doing her job, it is my responsibility to protect my child. So the principal of the school saw a way to get back at me. Tell my ex that I am crazy. She makes it all up. The problems at school, the acid reflux, the oppositional defiant disorder, and the Asperger's syndrome. Never mind that I had medical records showing the diagnoses that my son received, from a real doctor, not from me; never mind that my son was referred by his pediatrician to see these doctors who diagnosed him. Let's not discuss that part. Let's pretend they don't exist and tell the dad the mom is crazy, that'll get her out of my school. Let's also pretend that we don't know that this poor little boy is in therapy for threatening to kill his dad, with the details of how and when he will do it. Let's get him out of this school and into the hands of the very man this little boy wants to kill. Because in this little boy's mind, if his dad is dead, his dad will go to hell, and then he never has to see him again. "cuz when I die, I will go to heaven, and so will my family (notice he did not include his father in the family category) and dad will be in hell, so I never have to see him again." Gosh, let me think for like a nanosecond of why that scared me! What five year old even has that much of a concept of heaven and hell and thinks about his and others mortality? I don't even know of any 10 year olds who think like that. Maybe some teenagers and certainly adults, but a five year old? That is a problem. But how dare me seek help for my child. There must be something wrong with me. Not my child or the situation that made him think that his dad's death was the answer to anything.

And that is where this downward spiral began....