Sicky Bugs

This past weekend with S, who shall now be known as Creep, was, as always, great. But it was also sucky. He was crabby and hateful all day on Saturday. He was crabby when I picked him up and when I asked if he was tired, Creep responded hatefully with a no. I knew then that he was. Oh, well. No big deal, we'll just take it easy. Except baseball is starting and he had his first practice that afternoon. So he was creepy all morning, til time to go to practice. Then I couldn't find the ball field. Which was okay, because neither could his dad. We both ended up driving around before we found it. Then since he has not had a lick of practice since I played with him last summer after the season ended, he was understandably, um, shall we say out of practice. Really he sucked. He was having a hard time with all of it. The catching, throwing, hitting. All of it. And they can only have 12 kids on the team and they signed up 14. The two kids they "cut" go down to the "farm league", whatever the hell that is.

So, the coaches kept trying to help him and give advice on how to stand, how to hold the bat, and ways to catch and throw better. You know, all the things they are supposed to do. Wellllll, Creep bitched the whole way back to the hotel about how the coach did this, the coach did that, yada yada yada. I finally had to tell Creep that I was done talking about it. I thought the coach was giving good advice and did a good job. Of course Creep thought that I was critisizing him and reacted badly to that as well. Finally I told him I would only talk to him again if he picked a different subject.

We talked alot about Pokemon for the rest of the day. Even that though caused him to be cranky and hateful with me. I ended up telling him that he was not going to talk to me with disrespect anymore. I was him mom and an adult and he needed to treat me with respect. I was not some kid that he could be hateful to and get away with it.

He pouted for a little bit and stuck his nose in his game. After about five minutes of that, he got up and came over to the chair I was sitting in and sat next to me. We cuddled and for the rest of our visit, he was quite pleasant. I asked him a couple of times if he was still tired or if he didn't feel good, but he kept saying he was fine.

Sunday morning I picked him up, and guess what? He was not feeling good. He had a sore throat. I could look at his eyes and see that he was sick. I gave him some motrin. He told me after a bit that he was feeling better, he ate, we played, watched tv. Then he started telling me he did not feel good again. His throat was hurting again. I gave him more mortin. At that point I figured he probably had strep again. (He did) Creep has had strep at least 5-6 times in the past year, maybe year and a half. He just had it like a month ago. I don't know if he is not getting over it, if the meds aren't working, if he's not taking all of the meds. I have no way of knowing cuz his dad won't tell me and Creep doesn't know.

He did tell me last night though that he was finally feeling better. I am really glad to hear that. Creep is on spring break right now, and I would hate it if he spend the whole time being sick. What a sucky way of spending your days off school.

I really don't like it when he is sick and I am not there. And he is sick alot. I know that his dad does not baby him when he is sick, and it seems like he takes a long time to get better. And by not baby him, I mean they don't always stay home, he drags Creep out to run errands, his dad won't let him rest and get enough sleep, all those things you need to do when you are sick so your body can recouperate.

I can only hope that this is all coming to an end soon. That Creep will be back with me, and when he gets sick, he can lay around all day so he can get better. But that little slave kid better remember that when he is not sick, he gets no free pass from doing all some of the chores around the house.

T-T-T-T-T-TUESDAY!

IT'S TUESDAY! You know what that means. All about random. Wait this blog is always about me. It's Random Tuesday Thoughts. Go over to Keely's, grab a button and play along.



Today is my un-birthday. I have been reading about birthday's on a few other blogs, but today is not my birthday, it is my un-birthday. Yeah for me!

I have been packing and have discovered that I really don't like it. I keep procrastinating. That won't help me down the road here when it's time to move.

Oh yeah, it's time to move. Well almost. I turned in my official notice. The last day that I have to work with the bit** in the office next door is April 30. Woo Hoo! Then I can purge her from my life forever.

Someone will take her place. It always works that way. I'll get all moved and into my new job, and there will be a new bit** from hell.

I am not pregnant. Just thought I would throw that out there as I have had a couple of people ask me that lately. Here I thought I was losing weight and looking better and now folks are asking if I'm preggers. Kind of a blow to the self image there.

It is finally turning warm here again. That damned Spring came and teased us, then ran off. But she's back, and the bit** better stay this time.

Now go grab a button and play along. Happy RTT!

Growing Pains

My son is having growing pains. And they are mine. He is growing up, not right before my eyes, but far away. I have missed so many things in the past three years. March 4th, 2007 was the last day I held my son in my arms at home. March 16th, 2007 was when I found out he was not coming home. Without finding out why. All I got in the fax was the order of the change of custody. No reasons listed, just changed. I died inside some that day. Each day was a struggle to get through. I spent many hours crying. As time has marched on, the pain has lessened somewhat. The acceptance of my situation has arrived. Do I like it? Hell, no. Do I accept it? Yes. As time has marched on, I have learned to live with what I am allowed. The daily phone calls, the weekend visits. Each day is a little easier. Not nicer, just easier.

Until recently. Now that we have filed our petition, had a preliminary hearing, and now the deposition is done, the real battle begins. I don't mean the upcoming court date. That I can deal with. I know how to do that. My ex being his typical abnoxious self? That I can deal with because, again, I know how.

So what, you ask, is bothering me? I haven't had a conversation with my son for about three weeks on the phone. I call every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I NEVER miss a phone call or a visit. He doesn't want me too. He just doesn't want to talk to me on the phone anymore. In the past three weeks, I have had only one conversation that lasted more than about 3 1/2 minutes. He is busy having dinner. He is busy watching a movie. He is busy playing -outside, with the dog, with the cats, with his cousin. He doesn't ever tell me he is playing with friends. I am not sure he ever has been to a friends house, or had a friend over to play. He is busy playing pokemon, the pokemon freak the lover of all things pokemon. They (he and his dad) are out to eat, at the movies, shopping, etc.

I get it. He is now nine. He is growing up and does not want to talk to me on the phone every day. He is busy with a little life of his own. I just wish I were more a part of it. I want to be the parent that he talks to as the dinner table over a family meal. Talk about the silly things that happened at school, what so-and-so said on the bus. Baby xyz at the after school care did this. I want to hear all those things. Instead I get static on the phone, and a "can I talk to you tomorrow?" to fill my ears.

I never thought that I would be missing so much out of my son's life. I know I should be grateful that I get the phone calls and the every other weekend visit. And I am. It's just not enough. I am greedy. I want more. I want it all. I want to be with him every morning for breakfast, to tease him about the upcoming school day. To hear about the funny things he did or said at school and laugh with him. Hear about his triumphs and failures each day.

I know that all kids grow up and they start to distance themselves from their parents. That's how it should be. I just didn't think that I would be on the other end of a phone when it happened.

I'm having growing pains.

Be Responsible? Or Not?

Here is the official update on the letting my boss know I was leaving. Technically, I told my Director and Assistant Director about three weeks ago. I asked them not to tell anyone yet. I was just letting them know that at some unspecified date in the future I would be moving. I needed to talk to my attorney to find out if it should be before or after the hearing for custody for my son. I just wanted to tell them so that they could keep their mind and eyes open for a good replacement.

I talked to my attorney on Friday after my deposition. He told me what a "fabulous" idea it was to move down there and to move as soon as possible. That gave me the thumbs up I was looking for. So now I have set plans in motion for moving.

When I got to work on Monday, I told my boss that I did not have an official date, but that he needed to talk to his boss to let him know that I was leaving. It is up in the air as to whether my job will remain in the office that I am currently in, or if it will be moved into another office. If it is left in my office, then I will give at least four weeks notice for them to hire someone so I can train the person. If it is moved to the other office, they get two weeks. The big boss man does not know that part. And I have no intention of telling him. The office that they will want to move the job into is with the bitch from hell who has made my job miserable. She is hard  impossible to work with, because she is always right, you are always wrong, and it is always your fault. I usually ignore her because she is the only one in the entire workplace that has a problem with me. I get along with just about everyone else. Just not her. But she is the bitch from hell and doesn't get along with anyone. I also ignore her because, as I told my boss, in the scheme of life, she doesn't matter enough to me to get to me. I really don't care what she says or thinks.

That being said, if I can leave this job to her, and leave them unprepared for how intense my job is, how detail oriented, how hard it actually is, I absolutely will. Revenge is sweet. I will give a cursory training to her and - get this- her son (cause he apparently is not capable of getting a job working for anyone but mommy) and give them my binder with all my notes. That is all. They can figure it out all by themselves.

So, the director and assistant director of my department catch the big boss man and go to his office to let him know that I am leaving. They let him know that I did not give an official date yet, but that it will be sooner rather than later. He needs to make a decision because he already took another employee out of our office to work in a different one, and my leaving will leave this office very short staffed. He said that he needed to talk to the woman that runs the other office (where my job could go) and then make a decision. That means the job will be going to the other office. She has been trying for two years to get my job in there and get me put back on probation ( I have worked for this company for 4 1/2 years now and almost 7 years total) so she could fire me. Fortunately, I have pals in places that would not allow that to happen. Now that I am leaving, the job will be open for her to take.

The big boss man said he would talk to her yesterday afternoon. As far as I know he has not. I am waiting anxiously to hear/see her reaction. She will not be pleased as we are in the middle of closing our fiscal year and trying to play catch up where she sat on the payables for two months. Isn't that nice? She sat on the accounts payable for two months saying she simply did not have time to get it all done, then piles all of them on me in a week and a half (funny how she could suddenly get them all done at once) and is being pissy with me that I am taking so long to get them done. I told her she would get them on my schedule as I had a lot of stuff to do and would follow my schedule to make sure I did not forget anything.

So the pissy side in me is hoping that they take this job and move it to her office and I can give my two weeks and not get all the payables caught up. Let her deal with them in her office. I probably wouldn't really do that, just because the responsible worker in me says I shouldn't, but it is really tempting.

So I guess what this long winded rambling post is about is that they know now that I am leaving, but things are still up in the air. It really has no effect on me one way or the other. I will do my thing regardless of what their decision is. I will do my job and get my work done. Hopefully, before I leave, because that is just how I roll.

Random Tuesday Thoughts.
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Go check out Keely at the UnMom today. But read mine first.

I slept last night for about 2 1/2 hours. I got up and made a phone call in the middle of the nap to S, but he did not answer so I went back to sleep. After about a total of 3 hours of sleep, I got up and putzed around my house, then was back in bed 3 hours later. I feel soooo much better today. I am tired of being tired.

Work is still crazy busy. I keep getting more and more piles of things to do. I feel like I am drowning in paperwork. Our whole office does right now. My co-worker said the same thing yesterday, that she feels like we are all drowning in paper work in this office right now.

I am very excited to see sunshine. I need my fix of sunshine. It's like a drug that I cannot get enough of. Hook me up, baby.  Fill my veins with that sunny goodness.

Never feed your cats a solid diet of tuna for two or three days. Get your ass up and go buy cat food. Your nose will thank you later. Especially if your cats are indoor only and use a litter box. I think I am going to have that smell in my nostrils for days. *hacking and gagging*

Well, work is finding out today about me leaving. We'll see what they say....


That's all for today kids. What's random in your life today?

The Results Are In

I had my deposition last Friday. According to my attorney, it went well. My ex was beligerent to my atty. He did not answer several questions. He answered questions that my atty asked with questions of his own, and had to be advised by his atty to stop asking the questions, he was not allowed to. When my atty would ask a series of questions, he would pick an answer and repeat  himself without ever answering the questions. He, of course, lied his way through the deposition. At one point, he even made complaints about how I dressed at a function that I took my son to. My atty kept asking him what was wrong with the way I dressed and did he always have a problem with it. His response was that I was dressed inappropriately for the occasion in question and that it was wrong because it was me. He complained about me waving good bye and honking the horn at my son when I leave him at his dad's, saying it was all just some crazy bizarre ritual and routine that I set up to harm my son. My atty asked him if waving good bye and honking horns are bad and he said that when I do it, yes. He kept saying that it was some crazy routine. My atty asked him if he had any routines and he said no. My atty then asked if they went to church, he said yes my son went to church but could only go with his grandma on the weekends he was home. My atty then asked about the prayers that my ex swore up and down that they do every night before bed. My atty pointed out that those are routines, is there something wrong with them? Apparently, according to my ex, only routines I have with my son are crazy. All the routines he has are A-Ok. The douche-bag. He looked like he had crawled out of bed right before he came in as well. His hair was a mess, his clothes were all wrinkled, and he kept yawning the whole time. I'm sorry? But isn't this an important mile-stone in our case? Isn't it important enough to take a shower and get cleaned up before coming in? Or at the very least, he could have brushed his hair. Too bad there was no one there except the two of us, the court reporter, and our lawyers.

Then it was my turn to answer questions. The atty who has been handling the case was ill and would not be handling the deposition. His assistant would be. He ended up leaving about 10 minutes into the questioning for me. Which was fine. He is very intimidating. She asked questions that involved S's health and my mental well-being. My atty stepped in and stated that she was beyond the scope of the pleadings and that her questions were out of line. We would be willing to answer if she wanted, however it was to go on record that he was advising her to alter her line of questions. She stated that she would continue right along the line she started as long as I would answer. It went quicker than I thought it would. It was not nearly as stressful with the gal doing the questioning instead of the the other intimidating atty.

Next thing I know, we are done. We head outside and then I can talk to my atty. He tells me a few times that he cannot believe she continued on the questions the way she did as it allows us to use all of the old material. The doctor records that the judge and other atty would not allow the first time, S's school records and medical records down there, my mental health evaluation (I am sane-the psychologist says so!), and all the other evidence brought into play by them the first time around. Now my atty can rip my ex to shreds. I can't wait for court now.

I do not have a court date yet. First step right now is to get a copy of the transcripts from the deposition. My atty will then go through the transcripts and file to get copies of whatever records he needs to have for the hearing. Then he will go through all those files to make his notes of what my ex testified to in the deposition and compare it to the records from all the facilites that we get records from. There will be many discrepancies of course. He really hanged himself this past Friday with all the lies that he told. Yay for me.

After the deposition was over, I knew it would be time to relax. What I didn't bank on was the crash. After several months of constant mid-level stress, and two days of high level stress, my body was ready to shut down. My mom and I got back to the hotel and finished unloading the car, I checked my email, we went to get a couple of salads at the restaurant in front of the hotel, and I went to bed to take a nap. I felt like I could hardly move. I went to see MM Friday night to let him know how it all went. I was so tired I could not sleep. I got S for the day on Saturday and still felt totally drained. Saturday after I dropped S off at his dad's, I dropped mom off at the hotel, and made my way back to MM's house.  I took a shower, had some dinner, and we chatted for a little bit. I was ready for bed pretty early. I fell asleep quite easily. However, (and you knew there was a however didn't you?) I was not able to stay asleep for very long. With the time change, I kept waking up from fear I would oversleep. I was not able to get it out of my brain that the alarm would wake me up. So from about 1:30 am on, I was mostly up. That made for a tired visit again on Sunday. S had been sick for the previous few days so he was not a bundle of energy which made it nice to just sit and nap rest with my eyes closed for a little bit. It was total misery driving home though. I was exhausted. And yet again I could not sleep last night. I think I am so tired that my brain won't shut off. I plan on going home and taking a nap today. I could really use one right no....zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh wait, where was I? Yes, yes. I plan on going to bed tonight at an earlier time than usual. Even after my nap when I get home.

And tomorrow night? I start packing in earnest.

So tell me, Interneters? How did you spend your weekend? Did you have some nice spring like weather? Did you have a good time resting from the long hard workweek? How are you doing?

This, That and The Other

I am starting a new blog. I will still keep this one going, but will use the other one for my more R rated posts. This one will follow along the same thread that it has been on.

I have an update on my situation with my son. I have a deposition tomorrow. It was set for February, but as with all things related to this deal, it got rescheduled to March. It is still on for tomorrow as of today. We will be driving down tonight so I can get a good night sleep. I need to be on my toes for this. They can ask pretty much anything they want to in a deposition. I am trying hard not to freak out about it, and for the most part I am succeeding. I will be breathing a huge sigh of relief once we are done tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I have been super busy at work. I am taking today to be a slug and not get much done. I have big stacks of work to get done, but it will all still be here when I get back, so I am going to take a few minutes for myself. I have been working non-stop for about two weeks now, and just need a slower day.

I have been packing and sorting at home. I knew I had a lot of shit, but did not realize just how much til I started packing it up. Yikes. Purge City is where I need to head. And Goodwill. They won't know what hit them when I get done.

Wow, this is starting to sound like a random Tuesday post. I should have taken the time on Tuesday to post all this so I could participate in Keely's RTT. Oh, well. There will always be next Tuesday. I'm sure after the deposition and a weekend with my mom and my son, I will have more random.

Hope Friday and the weekend treats you all well. I will probably not be logging on much or at all this weekend. Well, I might tomorrow after the deposition so I don't have to sit with my mom and me couped up in the hotel room all day and night. It will give me something to do. And I can let you all know how it went.