Nut Magnet

Apparently I attract the weirdos. And I am not sure they are harmless.

Let me start by telling you why I was not dating. A few years ago I ran into this guy who seemed super nice. We chatted for a while and I gave him my phone number. He was divorced like me. He did not have any kids, but his exwife had a kid with her previous husband and was the "dad". He had a steady job. He had manners. All good points. Then he started calling. And calling. Then started talking about his exwife in terms of wife, not ex. Then told me she got a restraining order from him, but he just did not know why. He just wanted to see her and the kid. UM, dude, you can stop calling me now. He did not stop calling for at least a week, until I stopped answering his phone calls. Blechhhhh.

Fast forward several months. I meet another guy. Same story, steady job, lived a little closer than the last guy, not married but had kids. Spent some time talking on the phone and he was nice enough. About a three days into this, I get a text message. I asked him to not send them because I did not have a plan for texting and had to pay for them. He says okay. Then a few days later, I get a text message again. At three in the morning.  I am sorry, but no one, I mean NO ONE had better send me a text message at three in the fucking morning unless someone is dying or dead. And what pray-tell was so important to tell me at 3 am? He was IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!! Oh no, no no no no no. NO YOU DON'T. You do not love me after a week. So I sent back a snarky text message telling him that I didn't want to hear that and I thought I said no more text messages. Oh, but he thought I would want to know and he's sorry to send the message. To which I responded then stop sending these. I don't want a text message and I don't want to talk to you anymore. To which he responds he really is sorry and please will I keep talking to him? DELETE. I blocked his number too.

So that is why I did not date. I attract the freaks. The weirdos. The stalker crazy dudes that will kill you if you go behind the building with them. Then I started my dating recently again. I decided to take advantage of my son not being home and needing to find babysitters to go out. I thought, Self, you might as well do something now while you can. Get out there and see if you can meet Mr. Right For Now. See what happens, see where it leads. And if it's the bedroom, that is A-OK. Everyone needs a little love. Go get some.
Then I am introduced to guy number one. We will call him H. And he is a texter. Fortunately I have unlimited everything on my phone now so at least I was not paying for the million individual texts that he sent. A little over the top, but harmless as far as things go. He comes over to visit and hang out one evening. No hanky panky, just chatting. He goes home and sends me text messages on his way home. WTF? You were just here. What ever dude. Then he calls the next night. I asked him about sending the text messages and he said he just really enjoyed talking to me and was sad the evening was over. Whatevs dude. Except we end up talking on the phone for a long time. I did enjoy the conversation, but this was totally monopolizing my time. He says he won't be able to talk the next day because he had church the following evening and he was going to take his mom as she doesn't drive. Fine by me. I needed to get ready for my trip to see S. Except he showed up at my house. No church after all. He wasn't going because his mom didn't want to go. Ok, well I have to pack some. No problem, he can chat while I get my stuff ready. I tell him tomorrow will not be good as it was my last day home before my trip and I wanted to get more stuff done that I had been putting off. He calls and can he pretty please come over. Whatever, I have stuff to do. He comes over and stays way too late, despite me\y efforts to get him out early and get to bed. Then sends me text messages all day and evening on Friday wishing me a good trip and a good time. I don't respond. First of all I was driving and second of all I need a break.
As I was leaving though, on Friday, I put it out there to the universe that if I was supposed to be with H and we should keep talking, let the radio be silent and no one flirt with me. Dead ass radio on Friday night. I wondered if I had my answer. I had a good time with S. Then as I am dropping S off at his dad's I get another text from him. Now, dude, I told you I would not be available until at least Monday. BACK OFF. I ignore the first couple of texts. Then I get pissed, pull over at a gas station and tell him that it was my weekend with my son and I had no interest in talking to him. I would see him when I got home. He sends one back and said that no problem your son should always come first. I chose to not answer that one because if he thought my son should come first, then why was he bothering me with text messages? And what do you know? The radio was not silent. The guys on the road chatted with me. I actually drove for a long time (many miles and hours) with the same drivers chatting back and forth. We even stopped to get coffee together. I think I got my answer. If I was even interested in stopping to talk to someone new, I was not that interested in H.

He wanted to come over Monday night and I told him no. Then he did end up coming over a couple of days later with some movies he thought I would enjoy. He brought me chick flicks and love movies. WTF? I like scary movies and slasher movies and action movies. The gory-er the better. Since when did he think I would watch a chick flick. I even told him that I didn't like those kind of movies. Then he starts telling me how he would change me and how he would go about changing someone like me that does not like to be told what to do. I got pissed. I told him he was not going to change me and if he didn't like hearing me cuss/watch scary movies/whatever, he could leave, I fucking cuss and he can get the fuck over it. He just laughed and smiled like I was a child and he was indulging me. I did not have him over or talk to him for a few days so I could digest what he told me. I talked to my friend about it cuz I did not want to over react, even though I had met someone new just the past weekend that I prefered talking to.

When I next talked to H, I was telling him how I talked to my friend about some problems that she was having with her daughter and misbehaving. The bastard had the audacity to say my friend must be a bad mom because his kids did not behave badly. What?! You don't ever insult my friends. EVER motherfucker. I told him that was completely asinine on his part to assume that and that I was pissed that he would think that without any shred of evidence showing that. What kind of people do you think I hang out with? And how can you just assume that she's a bad mom because her daughter is acting out? I wasn't looking for advice, just sharing something that made me feel bad because I could not help my friend. My best friend no less, and someone I have been friends with for over 20 years. NO ONE insults my friends. I asked him to leave at that point. I even tried to give back his (unwatched) movies and he would not take them. I knew at that point we would not ever last long term. He could not do even the simplest thing to my satisfaction. All I wanted was for him to take his movies back and he wouldn't. Even though he knew I would not watch them. Then the new text messages started in earnest. Beginning the next day with text messages wanting to know where I was. How much he missed me, he wanted to talk to me, he wanted to see me again. I finally got pissed and texted back to him that I did not want him to miss me and which part of I did not want a relationship with him did he not get. He got pissed finally and said that maybe we should go our seperate ways. No hard feelings. What? I already have hard feelings you dumbass. You insulted my friend and treated me like an idiot that needs someone to tell me how to behave. So I responded as nicely as I possibly could that yes that is (obviously) what I wanted and we should both move on. I would get his movies back to him some other time when I was available to get them to him.

I did not share with him, obviously, that I had already moved on and was talking to guy number two, whom we shall call C. Who by the way was totally hot. And way sexy. And interested in me too. And thought I was hot too. Now, I ask you, who doesn't want a totally hot guy that thinks you are totally hot too? But more on that tomorrow.

A DATE!!!!!

Not that kind of date! The important kind.

We have the first date set for the depositions/hearings/yada-yada! One step closer to bringing my son home!!!! I am so excited. I have been telling everyone here at work.Called a few people. Sent the text messages. And now, Interwebz, I am telling you good people. I have the first date set up. Yippee and more yippee's!

Mmmmm. A New Love Affair.

Wonder who will find me with that title? Hee hee.

I want to admit to my new love affair that I have going on. Now, remember as I am telling you this that I am so not girly. Or prissy. Or anything but casual. And try not to laugh too hard when you are remembering that I love flannel and jeans and going bare foot. And that I hate pink anything.

My new love is sparkly. It is shiny. It is tasty. It is lip gloss. I have found that I cannot get enough of it. I run around with like three or four different kinds at a time. Just in case. I have about 8 different kinds now. I wear it as soon as I get up in the morning and put it on all the way up to bedtime. I have all kinds of colors and flavors. Lots of variety depending on my mood. And who I plan on kissing. *snort-giggle* I am just kidding about that. Mostly. Sort of.

I just hope this doesn't mean that I am going to get all girly.

Redneck Girl

I am going out this Friday with my friend K. We will be going out later in the evening as I have to make my call to my son and she wants to get at least the baby in bed before heading out. We are going to go to the "cheers bar". I call it that because it reminds of that bar. Except rated R. Everyone knows your name. Which is nice because no matter when I go in, I can find someone to sit with. It also sucks because every time I'm there, everyone knows who I am. I am my father's daughter and since he hangs out there, ALL that I do is reported back to him. Not that he cares. He is kind of  is a male slut. I tell him this, so even if he found this, he would not be offended. He would probably laugh and say I got that right. Anyway, I know most of the folks there and they know me, so it is nice to go in and have a good laugh about something. Or someone, or both. Never look for sympathy at a bar. You will never receive it.

My cheers bar has Karoake, bands, poker tournaments, pool league, and dart league. There is always some kind of activity. They also have really good food. Friday is Karoake night.  This is the night K wants to go out. She loves to sing. I can totally not sing. Well I can sing, I just suck at it. So I only sing in the car or to my cats. They love my singing. At least they don't claw my tongue out or hide. I do love music though. And a surprising amount of people can sing there. Just not me. But maybe I will have a few and sing a duet. Hopefully no one would throw up then. I just hope we can go. The weather is terrible here. It snowed a lot and now the wind is blowing. I just want it to stop before tomorrow. We totally need a girls night out. We haven't been out as grown ups for probably a few years. We always wind up at one anothers house with all our children screaming and playing in the background. Which is a wonderful sound, but difficult to have an adult conversation. What fun it will be!!!

Now I have a question. At what point do you tell the guy(s) that you are dating that you have a blog? And that you intend to post about your dates. Or do you tell? Do I just keep myself anonymous out here and post all the fun I had on my dates and not tell them for fear they would want to read it? Cuz I really want to start posting about all my dates and nights out for you to read ignore. And do you even want to know about the dates? Cuz I'm dying to share more details about my NYE date with all my Interwebz friends. I gotta share it with someone. Just maybe post that it will be rated PG-13  R from now on? I don't want to offend you all, but I am really really dying to let my true self show. I keep my language tempered, watch how I phrase things, etc.  That's not really me. I am a drinking cussing redneck kind of girl. I want to get my shine back. Much to my mom and sister's consternation. I drive them nuts. We clash a lot. They drive me nuts. But I do love them. Preppy and Girly and all. I tried to be like them and felt all stuffy and boring. I have way more fun my way. Just hope that you will stick with me.

Soooo, I guess maybe I should just issue a warning that Look Out, Here I Come!

Rabbits and Turtles

Me texting: I actually have a date for NYE!!!

My friend K texting back: Fantastic! Where are u going and what are u doing?

Me: Dinner and the "cheers bar", then I don't know yet.

K: Dinner where?

Me: I did not ask that yet either. Somewhere here in town.

Me: What do I wear? I wanna wear jeans. I like jeans.

K: U can wear jeans, just wear a sexy top with it. Black is a good color. And a nice necklace to go with it.
Me: I don't own anything sexy, or black, or a necklace. Wait, I have the shirt I took from ur house, it's black, but not sexy. But still no jewelry.

K: Ok, then...

Me: I could maybe wear a tank top under the black not sexy shirt? And still no necklace.

K: That would work. M (her husband) says to wear a short shirt and a thong. LOL

Me: I want to go out, not hump like rabbits. No thongs. Don't own one anyway.

K: LOL, M says if not like rabbits at least like turtles....

Me: Not funny. Well yes it is.


I'm still not sure how I managed to pull myself together for the date. But I did. And no rabbits or turtles that evening. I think I must have done something wrong.....

New Years Eve Meme, But a Bit Late. As Usual.

Since I never seem to do anything on time, except pick up my son for our visit, I will now do a New Years Eve meme. I mean, I'd rather be late and make an appearance than never show up at all. And WTH, where'd my spell check button go?

I stole borrowed this from Mommy Wants Vodka, and thought now that the new year is firmly in place, it could be time to look back on the last one. So here goes. I'll at least answer the ones I can remember. Cuz, you know, this is a lot of questions.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Nothing, Man how lame.....Oh wait, I went out on a date for New Years Eve. That counts right?

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept some, and of course lowered my standards for this year. Not so many.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Nope, and I feel very blessed for that.

5. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

More money, a sex  love life.

6. What countries did you visit?

*snort* none, I have never been out of the country. Unless you count the area I visit when I go see my son, but that's more like a totally different planet.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:

The date we went to court to find out that we did get to have a hearing: November 24.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Ummmmm, I'll have to get back to you on that one.......

9. What was your biggest failure?

I would totally have to go with the drain incident.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

None. I take it back. I was sick once at the very first part of the year with food poisoning. Remember the peanut butter? Yeah? It was all recalled? Yeah, I had some of that.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My van.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. I did not threaten or kill my ex.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex. I cannot believe that people would actually behave like him on purpose.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Court costs, trips down south, my cats.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I thought my son would be coming home before the end of 2009. Bummer, it did not happen-story of my life.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

She's Country by Jason Aldean. I just love that song. And I'm a redneck girl. I even wear flannel shirts to work with my dress pants. Mostly just to annoy everyone.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier

ii. thinner or fatter?    Thinner - Man I love sayin' that.

iii. richer or poorer? poorer in money, richer in spirit - ok that will be the only hokey answer I promise.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Get out more.. See my friends more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Dishes.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Well, I already spent Christmas. I was driving. With my mom.

21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.
I’ll make up my own question here, then. Hmmm.
Name one random thing that people would be surprised to know about you.

I don't like to put things away. Well, the people that know me wouldn't be surprised. I don't mind washing dishes or washing/drying/folding the laundry. But they will stay in the drainer or laundry basket til I need it again. I don't put things away.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Not a chance, unless you count with me.

23. How many one-night stands?

I can't answer this one. My mom reads this sometimes.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
I don't have cable, and don't watch TV. I hardly even watch movies.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Ummm. Nope the only one I hate, I hated the year before.

26. What was the best book you read?

Book three of Dean Koontz' Frankenstien

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I have no idea. Although music related, I did meet the truck drivers for Brad Paisley. That was neat, they were on their way to Tennessee for the Music Awards.

28. What did you want and get?

Laid.  Oh, can't say that, mom might be reading. Let's say.......a new to me van.

WTH? Where did 29 go? Oh well I will move on, this is way too long anyway.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I, uh, didn't watch any new movies this year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I spent the day with my son and I turned 32.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

My son coming home.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Fashion and me in the same sentance? Hhahhhahahahah. I'm sorry, that is just funny. I describe my clothes as totally comfortable. But not fashionable in any sense of the word.

34. What kept you sane?

Donuts.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Carrie Underwood

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
ParentalRights.org

37. Whom did you miss?
My son.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I have to pick one?......................I can't decide. But it was not the dude that was txt stalking me. So far all the other guys have been all right.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

To go with the flow. It doesn't do much good to rail at the life you have. Either change it or live with it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I don't have any idea. It would have to be a song about never giving up hope. Cuz that's what I'm all about.

So the rest of the meme calls for tagging, which I don’t do because I’m not popular enough to know that many people, so rather than tag you, I’m going to tag YOU to answer this meme on your blog OR in the comments.

Happy New Year!

Well, I am back after the new year celebrations. I actually had a date and went out for NYE. Wow, I haven't done that in....Well, ever. If you don't count the one where I had to be designated driver for my son's dad while I laid in the recliner trying not to keep jumping up and running to the bathroom and throw up. I was preggers-not drunk-keep it clean here... ;) That one was probably the most not fun I ever had. Any way, back to this new year. I have some resolutions again. As always. If only I could make them happen....

1. Not to go crazy from my job. It is a crazy place to work. We often have the discussion in my office of whether the employees are crazy when they are hired or if working here makes them crazy. We still haven't decided yet.

2. Keep on losing weight. It seems to be working so far, so I shall stick with it.

3. Have fun. And a lot of it.

That's it. I don't want to overwhelm myself this year with a bunch of goals that I know I will never follow through with. So I will stick with ones that I know I can do. Make me feel good about myself. Don't want to be an overachiever, so I'll just stick with three. Always better to be an underachiever.

I started the new year off right for sticking with resolution number three. I had a blast that night. I should do that more often. Well maybe not the drinking too much part. Although I was in good hands with a friend of mine who swore to take care of me. I even rode in a cab for the first time that night. I did not drink too tooo much. Just got a lot tipsy, not like hangover drunk. But what fun I did have. We went out to dinner, to the local bar/grill we all like to hang out at, then off to another bar to hear a band. The band was great, the drinks good, and the whole evening was fun. Happy new year to all of you and I hope that this is your year. We all need good things to come our way this year. So I proclaim this to be our year!