Christmas Day

I got to spend Christmas day with my son. We had a good time. He asked for a nerf blaster gun. The big one of course. We got it for him and wrapped it up. It comes in a huge box. Creepy got into the van and was really excited about the present as "big as China". We got him a couple of other smaller presents. He was pretty excited about them. We did not stay at the hotel because I didn't have enough money to stay at the hotel that many times this month. Creepy did not seem to care in the slightest. We went to the park for him to open his presents. I made him open the present as big as China last. Then he tore into the box and got it all together and the darts all loaded up. And we discovered that it needed batteries. What the hell? It's a nerf gun. Batteries? So we head back into town only to discover that everything is closed. Which is great for all the store workers who got to spend the day with their families. It's about time that businesses got some of their priorities straight. We did find a gas station open, so I ran in to get batteries. We loaded the batteries in the nerf gun, and he shot me! Fortunately, they don't hurt, so he could keep shooting at me.

I would put my hand up between the seats, and he sat in the back, I would wave my hand all over. He always hit my hand. He is quite the shot. He loved it.

Late in the day, my mom called while at my sister's house. My sister put her girls on speaker phone, and I put Creepy on speaker phone, and they talked about the presents they got. They talked about how much fun they had been having all day. They giggled. They laughed. They played with each other over the phone. There is nothing in the world quite as wonderful as listening to the children you love laughing together. It was a wonderful day. Those are the days that keep me going in this journey. Just looking back and remembering the joy on his face, the smiles while talking and playing on the phone with his cousins. The laughing and giggling of my child. He is the joy of my life. He is the love of my life.

The Not Christmas Weekend

Due to all the bad weather we have been having here in the south, my son has been out of school all week. I have called him every day to talk. Usually he is "busy" and can't talk for long.

Monday when I called, though, I had some bad news. I went home to visit my mom and sister for a day. I left Thursday afternoon. I arrived right around nine pm. About 9:30 I called my mom's cell phone to say "I've arrived! I made it!", except some guy answered her phone. I knew she was at her book club, so I wasn't all that surprised. Figured she was in the bathroom or something and that she told them to answer when I called. Alas, nothing so simple. The guy on the phone said he was just trying to figure out how to get a hold of me. My mom was on her way to the hospital, an ambulance was on the way. She had fallen on the ice outside on her way to her car. They were not sure if she hit her head or not, but that she was a bit confused.

My sister called her father-in-law to come and watch the girls and we set off to meet them at the hospital. It was bad weather again. We had to drive a bit, well a lot slower, than I wanted to, but obviously we needed to get there in one piece.

We arrived and she was in the hallway on the gurney from the ambulance. She was in quite a bit of pain. She said she was certain she didn't hit her head, but was also certain she had broken her wrist. It pretty much looked like it, too. The nurse arrived to give her a pain med shot, and I left with a couple of the members of her book club to get her car. When I returned, she was sleeping. Or unconscious from the meds. And the wine and champagne and eggnog that she had consumed at the book club meeting. They were a bit slow that night. The nurse finally returned and said it was broken. They were going to splint it, and have the orthopod call her in the next few days to set up an appointment for setting it. Though, he would probably have to do surgery to fix it.

Sure enough, they called the next morning, did a CT scan, set up another appointment Monday to read it and go over her options. Which was not an option so much as telling her that she would have surgery. The next day.

All this meant that she doesn't get to come down here this weekend. We planned on doing our Christmas visit this weekend, tree and all. Creepy was all excited about it. And I had to tell him, that not only did Grammy break her wrist, she had to have surgery, and there was no way of knowing when she would even be able to drive, let alone come down for celebrating the holidays. So I told him Monday. He was really upset. He suggested I go get her presents to him so that we could still celebrate. I tried to tell him that I couldn't just bop over there to pick them up, it was too far away. He was still upset. Then decided he was too upset to really talk.

The next night, he asked if anything had changed, was Grammy coming. I told him no, that we were still going to have to put it off. And told him that Grammy had surgery that morning. He was upset by that too. He even told me I should go and finish shopping for her and bring the presents anyway. He didn't talk very long. And Wednesday, he didn't want to talk at all. It seems sad to me that he is more concerned about the fact that he isn't getting his presents this weekend than he is about Grammy. I know that his dad is very materialistic, and I know it's rubbing off. I see it on every visit. This just seems like it has gone too far. Hopefully it's just stress about being stuck at home all week with his dad because of the weather. We shall see this weekend when I pick him up, whether he is more concerned with the lack of presents, which I plan on taking on Christmas day when I visit him, or if he even asks about my mom.

He has two games this weekend, so hopefully that keeps him busy and too occupied to think about the presents not being there.

About Time

Something actually went okay! It's about time.

Creepy had already been told some misinformation by his dad about me and Mail Man. I started by asking what his dad had told him about the hearing and things that his dad learned at the hearing. This led to all kinds of stories of what his dad told him, most of which was untrue. I set him straight on some of it, on other things I just told him that was not how it went but didn't tell him exactly what was said.

After a little while he blurted out MM's name but then covered his mouth and said he wasn't supposed to say anything about it. I told him about meeting MM and that we started dating in the spring and that MM knew about him.

I explained why we didn't introduce the two of them and told Creepy a bit about MM and his family. He asked if my family knew about MM and I told him yes. Pretty much he just took in all the information and asked a few good questions, then said that he wished he had met him already. I explained that we didn't do that because we both thought that it would be too much for him and since I only had since a limited time for visiting him, we wanted me to be able to spend my time with him alone or with my mom.

I then told him that because I couldn't take him home with me, he would not be at the wedding. That seemed to bother him more than anything else. He really wanted to be a part of it. I know it will bother him and hurt him, but I am NOT going to that county to get married because I am certain that his dad would find out about it somehow and try to mess something up. We would have to apply for a marriage license and I am sure his dad's atty would find out about it by keeping tabs on me. I sure don't want him to be there or even try some of his devious tricks.

Otherwise, Creepy was completely okay with the idea of having a step-dad and brothers and sisters.

So, all in all, it went well. We had a really good visit this weekend.

Passing on the Big News

Well. This will be something of a big weekend for me and my son. I will finally tell him about my engagement and pending marriage. I haven't told him or introduced him to my fiance. I discussed introducing MM to my son, and we both agreed it probably wouldn't be the best idea. We both have divorced parents, and while my dad is the one I remember introducing me to his gf's and not my mom, his mom is the one that introduced him to her bf's. We both decided that as children we did not really like that happening. So we held off. Then we held off because we thought the court date would be sooner than it was and we thought, no point in introducing the two of them because now we can just wait for the hearing to be over and my son to come home. We even had a plan that MM would be able to stay with a friend for a couple of days so that I could bring my son home and have a couple of days before they met. But with him back to work we decided that probably wasn't necessary. But he didn't come home. So now, MM works every weekend and we don't have an opportunity to introduce them.

But I will tell my son about MM this weekend. Last weekend I wore my engagement ring, and either he didn't notice or just didn't ask. He will have a lot of questions I am sure. I don't remember asking a lot of questions, so I don't really know what kinds of things he will ask. I do know that he will be upset that we get married when he isn't there. I don't know for sure how he will take that part. MM and I talked about, as did my mom and I, but I am not willing to go to that county to get married. We have no place except a hotel to stay, and that also means that everyone that comes will have to stay at a hotel. We have a couple of extra bedrooms here, so we can put up some family for the wedding.

I am, however, very sure that Creepy will be upset over the fact that he doesn't get to be involved in it. He has already been upset simply because I went to some birthday parties of my nieces and my friends' children. Those didn't even involve me. I can't even imagine how upset he will be now that this involves all of us.

Hopefully he will take it all in stride and be peachy with it. He may surprise me and not even really care, since it will all be an abstract situation for him. He doesn't get to live here, so maybe it will not be a big deal to him because he doesn't get to see the daily stuff. Not anyway to tell, really. So, we shall see.

Sad Day in the House

I lost. Big time. The judge stated that my testimony was irrelevant and my evidence was not valid, so none of it got entered. Everything my ex said was taken as gospel. My son even testified and his testimony backed up what I said and contradicted everything his dad said. The judge then stated that my son's testimony was not important and didn't count either. My atty was shocked at the whole situation. He said he had never seen the judge act that way. I told him that was because he had never seen my case in front of the judge before. He always says my testimony is irrelevant. He did let me enter evidence in the past. Then at the end of the day, he said that since I moved closer, and my son had never been to this house, on his order mind you that I could not leave the county his dad lives in during my visits, I couldn't bring him home, even for visits. (Sorry, that was quite the run-on sentence.) How the hell am I supposed to let my son see if he likes this house or is comfortable here, if I can't bring him here?

Then, even though I haven't found a job, and I have been trying to find one, I have to pay child support, because I quit my job to be closer. Then because this was a frivolous case, I have to pay all court costs, all court reporter costs, all atty fees, even for my ex, and doctor bills from the last three years because I couldn't afford insurance that would cover my son for out of state visits when I was still living in Illinois. I don't know how I'm supposed to pay any of it, since I can't find a job. The job that I thought I would have after moving down here fell through. It may or may not start sometime next year.

My atty told me that with this judge I would probably never get to bring my son home. This was our shot, and the judge blew it out of the water and wouldn't listen to anything I said, even when I had documentation to prove it. He refused to look at any records I brought with me. My atty told me that someday, I might get to have better visits. But at this point and the way the judge treated me, there is no guarantee.

My son was devastated. When the hearing was over, my ex's atty told him to let my have my son for a couple of hours. My ex went out in the hallway and said come on, you're going with your mom. He thought we won and that he was coming home. Then I had to be the one to tell him that we lost and the judge didn't listen to anything we said. He was angry that no one listened to him. His dad kept saying that if my son wanted to live with me, he would let him. But that's a big fat lie because my son tells everyone that he wants to live with me, but no one listens to him.

I am also devastated. My atty thought we had the case wrapped up and could not lose. I have had a bad feeling for several weeks and told him that. He said it was just nerves. We would be fine. So much for fine. This was a very hard lesson to learn at such a young age for my son. He had to learn that even though you go in and tell the truth, it doesn't always work. Sometimes the liars get their way. I don't know how this will affect him in the long run. He talked to me a bit on a couple of phone calls, but hasn't talked to me for more than about five minutes since early this week. I don't even know what to say to him. His dad keeps telling him that I am a bad mother and was hurting him by giving him the medicine prescribed by the doctor. I told him that the doctor is the one that said he had to have it (for acid reflux), and that was what I gave him. But his dad is telling him that I gave him like five different pills a day. Which is entirely untrue, but he doesn't remember. He just hears what his dad keeps telling him over and over, and I don't have enough time to undo all the damage he is causing in the relationship between my son and me. If he is allowed to say whatever he wants unchecked, I will not be able to undo it. There will be no stopping my ex now that the judge has ruled the way he has.

I don't really know what to do. I don't really think I have any more recourse in the case. My atty says this was the end of the line, although hopefully someday I can have better visits. With my ex being allowed to do whatever he wants now, I don't think that will happen. He will work diligently to ruin what we have right now. It's nowhere near as strong as it was when my son lived with me, nor even as strong as it was a year ago. I don't think it will take him too long to take it to the point where my son doesn't even want to see me anymore. I hope he doesn't, but I know that is his intention as my ex told me that right after all this started. That was his goal. Now he has the backup with this awful judge to do as he likes. Even if it hurts my son in the process, that's ok by him because my son is just a pawn to him. And I am the enemy. We will be the casualties in this war. Because that is how he sees life. A war and game to be won, at all costs. I just hope he doesn't destroy my son in his process of winning.

I hope that my son and I continue to have good visits, and that he won't pull away from me now. At this point, that is all I can hope for.

Hope life is treating you better than me.

Bad Directions, Pumpkins and Ice Cream

Well, the court date looms closer. No new problems have arrived. Next step is to tell my ex's attorney that I have a new address in state. It should make a huge difference in me being able to get my son back. They knew that I moved, but I never told them exactly where. Safety first, you know. I told my attorney who told his attorney, who told my ex, who told my son. That way my son could start asking and my ex could find me. Ha Ha. I am NOT telling a 10 year old anything. He will let things slip, even if he doesn't mean to. I didn't want my ex, or his friends, to be able to find me before I was ready.

Now my attorney is mailing the whatever it is that he has to file to show my new address in state. That means that within a week or so, my ex will have my address. He will come to find me or send his friends to.

Haha on him again. They will never find it. They re-routed the road that I live on a few years ago and apparently the change doesn't show up on the maps or GPS. We couldn't even find it when we were trying to look at the house to rent. We had to call for directions from the owner. My mom has GPS, and hers gave the wrong directions too. Of course, that doesn't mean he won't find it, but it won't be easy for him! They probably also aren't counting on the fact that we already alerted the landlord that lives directly in front of us and our other neighbors to the fact that he will be looking for me.

My landlord has about 100 acres and five houses on the property. We all get along really well, and they don't take to kindly to the idea that someone may want to come here and start trouble. And between all of us, someone is always home. Someone will always be around to see if someone comes up the driveway. That will put a damper on their plans!

My mom and I both had "stuff" happen to our vehicles when I lived up in Illinois. We know it was them, but of course proving it was a little difficult. Now, if they come around to mess with my car again, they will get caught. That would be nice to have them caught red-handed.

Of course, I realize that they may never come here and that I am just over-reacting. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am jumping to conclusions about their behavior. Maybe their past behavior will not be in indication of their future behavior. Yeah, right.

Creepy has not been creepy lately. He has been thoroughly enjoying our visits. He is still not talking on the phone too much, but I don't worry about that as much now that he is having more fun and enjoying his time with me again. We went to the local pumpkin patch this past weekend and had a great time. Then we went and got ice cream. It was a beautiful weekend and we both had a lot of fun.

I have one more weekend visit and one holiday visit before the hearing. Keep your fingers crossed.

Update

I am still alive. We are still trying to get my boy home. All the papers have been filed, all the depositions completed, all the information has been subpeaoned. Is that a word? Or spelled right? We are now waiting on our court date. Supposedly it will be in September sometime towards the end. Right now, I am as tense as can be. This waiting is for the birds. Our visits are mostly ok, although Creepy has been a little quiet and stressed. He says there is nothing he wants to talk about even when I press. I just hope his dad hasn't talked him into wanting to stay with him. He does tell me that he still wants to come home, so I hope he means it. Hopefully, he wants to come home still when we go to court. That would be really sucky to get to court only to hear him say that he changed his mind because his dad buys him lots of toys to stay there. Hope all is well with you guys out there in blogger-land. I will post when we have more news

Babies and Big Boys

Well, I spent last weekend with Creep again. It was beautiful weather. We went to the campgrounds and got a campsite. I put up the tent and got out the chairs and his bike. We walked around the campgrounds. Well, I walked and he rode. The lazy little creep could not even ride his bike as far as I could walk. He kept telling me how tired he was. I swear if it weren't for the sports he plays down at his dad's he would be a couch potato. Actually he is a couch potato except when he is at practice or the games.

Anyway, we lounged in the sunshine. We watched some movies, we napped. All in all, it was a fun and relaxing weekend. No creepiness at all. He still doesn't want to talk on the phone at night when I call, but the visits are improving again. I think maybe he had spring fever and just needed to have someone to spend some time outside with. I like to play outside too, so it was no stretch for me to be out there with him.

We also spent a lot of time just talking. Not about anything major, or even anything important. Just chatting, and making sure that I listened. He tells me frequently that no one listens to him or looks at him when he is talking. I try really hard to make sure that he has my full attention when we are together. I want him to know and feel that he is important. Not just because I am his mom, but because he is important as a person. He has value, other than just being my child. He has value, and has his own opinions, and he can share them with me. I don't have to agree with him, and he knows that. It was just really nice to be able to talk and chat about nothing of consequence. Sort of like the dinner chat that can sometimes be heard around the dinner table.

It was really hard to take him back on Sunday evening. The visit had gone so well, and we both enjoyed ourselves so much, that neither of us wanted the day to end. Of course he did not want to talk on the phone when I called. I can deal with that though, if we can continue to connect on the visits.

I really need to get out the camera agian and get some pictures to put up here. He is growing up so fast. He looks totally different than he did when he was home last. He doesn't have even the slightest of baby-ness to his face now. And boy is he getting tall.

How about you mom's(or auntie's or cousins) out there, have you ever turned around and a little one was no longer little? Like they grew up suddenly when you weren't looking?

Well, How Was It?

I hope you had a good Easter holiday. Mine was pretty good. I spent the day with Creep. He was not too much of a creep. He only had a short amount of time that he was creepy. We spent the entire day at the park. I am still tired. I think I wore him out too though, so it's all good. Creep was in a pretty good mood all day. He laughed a lot and joked around, and had me laughing too.

All in all, it was a great day. We played baseball, I watched him shoot some hoops. We watched a movie on the dvd player. We played cars and transformers. We played on the swings. We played pokemon. Hell, reading that, no wonder I am tired. But what a beautiful day it was, and what an awesome reason to be worn out.

So, how did your Easter go? Anything exciting?

He Speaks

I have posted many times that I call my son every night. I have also posted recently that he won't talk to me anymore on the phone. I asked him over the weekend why he wasn't talking on the phone anymore. The answer was a vague "I don't like to talk on the phone anymore". No particular reason why, just don't. I let it go figuring he would either share more or move past whatever faze this was.

Well, last night, wonder of wonders, he talked to me for the whole time allowed. He was very chatty, and friendly even. When it was time to go, by orders not choice, he was actually sad to have to hang up. This made me feel much better than I have for a long time. I felt like he was pulling away from me. After last night, I know that is not exactly what he is doing. He might be some for the sake of "showing" his dad he his, but he does still want to talk to me and want to hear what I have to say. I feel better. Now, hopefully, he will continue to talk to me as the nights unfold in the next few weeks (or months) until this is all settled and I can talk to him every day, face to face.

Sicky Bugs

This past weekend with S, who shall now be known as Creep, was, as always, great. But it was also sucky. He was crabby and hateful all day on Saturday. He was crabby when I picked him up and when I asked if he was tired, Creep responded hatefully with a no. I knew then that he was. Oh, well. No big deal, we'll just take it easy. Except baseball is starting and he had his first practice that afternoon. So he was creepy all morning, til time to go to practice. Then I couldn't find the ball field. Which was okay, because neither could his dad. We both ended up driving around before we found it. Then since he has not had a lick of practice since I played with him last summer after the season ended, he was understandably, um, shall we say out of practice. Really he sucked. He was having a hard time with all of it. The catching, throwing, hitting. All of it. And they can only have 12 kids on the team and they signed up 14. The two kids they "cut" go down to the "farm league", whatever the hell that is.

So, the coaches kept trying to help him and give advice on how to stand, how to hold the bat, and ways to catch and throw better. You know, all the things they are supposed to do. Wellllll, Creep bitched the whole way back to the hotel about how the coach did this, the coach did that, yada yada yada. I finally had to tell Creep that I was done talking about it. I thought the coach was giving good advice and did a good job. Of course Creep thought that I was critisizing him and reacted badly to that as well. Finally I told him I would only talk to him again if he picked a different subject.

We talked alot about Pokemon for the rest of the day. Even that though caused him to be cranky and hateful with me. I ended up telling him that he was not going to talk to me with disrespect anymore. I was him mom and an adult and he needed to treat me with respect. I was not some kid that he could be hateful to and get away with it.

He pouted for a little bit and stuck his nose in his game. After about five minutes of that, he got up and came over to the chair I was sitting in and sat next to me. We cuddled and for the rest of our visit, he was quite pleasant. I asked him a couple of times if he was still tired or if he didn't feel good, but he kept saying he was fine.

Sunday morning I picked him up, and guess what? He was not feeling good. He had a sore throat. I could look at his eyes and see that he was sick. I gave him some motrin. He told me after a bit that he was feeling better, he ate, we played, watched tv. Then he started telling me he did not feel good again. His throat was hurting again. I gave him more mortin. At that point I figured he probably had strep again. (He did) Creep has had strep at least 5-6 times in the past year, maybe year and a half. He just had it like a month ago. I don't know if he is not getting over it, if the meds aren't working, if he's not taking all of the meds. I have no way of knowing cuz his dad won't tell me and Creep doesn't know.

He did tell me last night though that he was finally feeling better. I am really glad to hear that. Creep is on spring break right now, and I would hate it if he spend the whole time being sick. What a sucky way of spending your days off school.

I really don't like it when he is sick and I am not there. And he is sick alot. I know that his dad does not baby him when he is sick, and it seems like he takes a long time to get better. And by not baby him, I mean they don't always stay home, he drags Creep out to run errands, his dad won't let him rest and get enough sleep, all those things you need to do when you are sick so your body can recouperate.

I can only hope that this is all coming to an end soon. That Creep will be back with me, and when he gets sick, he can lay around all day so he can get better. But that little slave kid better remember that when he is not sick, he gets no free pass from doing all some of the chores around the house.

Growing Pains

My son is having growing pains. And they are mine. He is growing up, not right before my eyes, but far away. I have missed so many things in the past three years. March 4th, 2007 was the last day I held my son in my arms at home. March 16th, 2007 was when I found out he was not coming home. Without finding out why. All I got in the fax was the order of the change of custody. No reasons listed, just changed. I died inside some that day. Each day was a struggle to get through. I spent many hours crying. As time has marched on, the pain has lessened somewhat. The acceptance of my situation has arrived. Do I like it? Hell, no. Do I accept it? Yes. As time has marched on, I have learned to live with what I am allowed. The daily phone calls, the weekend visits. Each day is a little easier. Not nicer, just easier.

Until recently. Now that we have filed our petition, had a preliminary hearing, and now the deposition is done, the real battle begins. I don't mean the upcoming court date. That I can deal with. I know how to do that. My ex being his typical abnoxious self? That I can deal with because, again, I know how.

So what, you ask, is bothering me? I haven't had a conversation with my son for about three weeks on the phone. I call every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I NEVER miss a phone call or a visit. He doesn't want me too. He just doesn't want to talk to me on the phone anymore. In the past three weeks, I have had only one conversation that lasted more than about 3 1/2 minutes. He is busy having dinner. He is busy watching a movie. He is busy playing -outside, with the dog, with the cats, with his cousin. He doesn't ever tell me he is playing with friends. I am not sure he ever has been to a friends house, or had a friend over to play. He is busy playing pokemon, the pokemon freak the lover of all things pokemon. They (he and his dad) are out to eat, at the movies, shopping, etc.

I get it. He is now nine. He is growing up and does not want to talk to me on the phone every day. He is busy with a little life of his own. I just wish I were more a part of it. I want to be the parent that he talks to as the dinner table over a family meal. Talk about the silly things that happened at school, what so-and-so said on the bus. Baby xyz at the after school care did this. I want to hear all those things. Instead I get static on the phone, and a "can I talk to you tomorrow?" to fill my ears.

I never thought that I would be missing so much out of my son's life. I know I should be grateful that I get the phone calls and the every other weekend visit. And I am. It's just not enough. I am greedy. I want more. I want it all. I want to be with him every morning for breakfast, to tease him about the upcoming school day. To hear about the funny things he did or said at school and laugh with him. Hear about his triumphs and failures each day.

I know that all kids grow up and they start to distance themselves from their parents. That's how it should be. I just didn't think that I would be on the other end of a phone when it happened.

I'm having growing pains.

A DATE!!!!!

Not that kind of date! The important kind.

We have the first date set for the depositions/hearings/yada-yada! One step closer to bringing my son home!!!! I am so excited. I have been telling everyone here at work.Called a few people. Sent the text messages. And now, Interwebz, I am telling you good people. I have the first date set up. Yippee and more yippee's!

Finally, A Court Date

Finally. Well, last Tuesday I had the first hearing. It was a joke of a court room. It was held in a civil court setting where all the cases are just argued out there in front of the whole room. People were in and out of the courtroom the whole time. The door was loud and it was distracting every time it slammed shut. My case was called as the second hearing. Unfortunately my ex and his atty were not there yet so we had to wait until the last case was heard. While we waited our turn, we actually heard a case where one man was sueing another for money just in case the leasing company sued him after an accident that happened over six years ago. What is wrong with the people in that particular area? It totally blew my mind all the cases I heard that morning. Finally it was our turn. We were there to argue whether to be allowed to have a hearing and if my son could keep the atty that had already been appointed. First, my ex's atty gets up and talks about how unusual this case was and it was his first time fighting a case like this, the first time as far as he knew for the county. Then says that the case should be summarily dismissed because I am crazy. They all said so. *insert me rolling my eyes* Then my atty gets up and states that is not true and the entire case is disputed facts therefore the case could not be summarily dismissed. SURPRISE: the judge agreed with my atty! That is a first!!!! That means we progress to depositions, discovery and a custody hearing.

Next up was the issue with the GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) that was already appointed for my son. The ex's atty actually said that he did not know if any of the allegations made by me were true or not but that did not matter. What mattered was that I was ordered to carry health insurance, but since I stated that I could not afford it, I could obviously not afford to pay the GAL and therefore the cost would fall to his client. No GAL should be appointed and set aside the order. My atty got up and stated that no court costs that have been remanded to me have been unpaid. I have fulfilled my court cost obligation every time and there was no indication that I would not pay these costs. Then my ex's atty gets up and says there is a new State Supreme Court ruling that says that only in extraordinary cases can the child have a GAL. The judge asked him what was his definition of extraordinary. Yes, the judge asked my ex's atty to provide the definition of an extraordinary for the court. WTF?!?!?!? The ex's atty said he did not know. So the judge said that he would set aside the GAL order. Actually he said that so many orders were filed with the courts to be filed that there was no way for the judges to always know what they were signing and they always got one side or the other mad for signing orders. I simply cannot believe what transpires in the courts down there. It is insane.

So, while we lost the GAL for S we do still get to go to court. We will just have to find another way around the issue. Next up is trying to get dates set for the depositions and such. I don't have a date for them yet. Hopefully soon.

On a personal note, I met someone. I have been on a couple of dates with him and so far we are getting along great. My dad introduced us one night a few months ago. He is a bit older than me. Well a lot actually. He is about 20 years older than me. So far no one in my family has been bothered by it. I thought they might be, but they don't seem to care. Pretty much all they have said so far is they don't care about his age or skin color, just how he treats me. So far, only with respect. He better or he'll be on the curb with the rest of them. I won't go into any details yet, mostly because other than sitting and talking to get to know each other there are not any details.

I also wanted to put in a mention for all those that want to whiten their teeth, I found a product that actually worked. For me at least. (I get nothing for mentioning this-they don't even know I exist.) Aquafresh White Trays are what I used. They were fabulous. I have sensitive teeth and other whitening products hurt my teeth or caused even more sensitivity. These White Trays were really easy to use, they did not make my teeth hurt and you only use them for seven days. I can totally live with that. My mom said that she can really tell a big difference in the color of my teeth. YEAH! Money well spent.

That pretty much brings you all up to speed with everything. I will let you know when I get some more dates for the custody issues. Hope this finds you all well.

What a Surprise. And a recipe.

Well, I am back from my visit with my son. And guess what? That's right, no hearing. It does not really surprise me. I did get another date on Monday from my attorney. This time the hearing is set for Tuesday, November 24th. Hopefully this time the hearing will happen. I had a great time with my son this past weekend. We played alot and spent some time just sitting together. He was feeling better, or so he said. He was a little bit more tired and a little bit less active. But all in all, he seemed to be better. He did eat really well too.

For our visit around the hearing, I will see S on the 21st and 22nd, meet with the attorney on the 23rd. Have the hearing on the 24th, hang out on the 25th, and see S again for Thanksgiving holiday on the 26th and 27th. That's a lot of living at a hotel. Not my favorite, but better than the cold wet campgrounds. Man, I can't believe how wet it has been this year. It's been hard to camp some weekends. A few times we ended up just going to the hotel because it rained so much. Other times we toughed it out and hoped we didn't get washed away.

My mom and I learned how to cook in a dutch oven over a fire this summer. That was some tasty eatin'. We made a pork stew. I found a store that carries large cans of pork. I have never had canned pork like that and thought we would give it a try since it needs no refrigeration prior to opening and that makes it handy when camping. So we took some onions, potatoes, celery and carrots to put in it. We added some spices that I always have in the camping kit (salt, pepper steak seasoning, and garlic). We also brought along a bit of cornstarch to make a thickening sauce, and dumped it all in. That was it. We put it over the fire and let it cook up and it was really good. It does not take very long to cook, and it stays warm for a long time as well.

The pork we used was not like the canned ham that I have found in the grocery stores. It was like a roasted pork loin that had been cooked and then stuck in the can. I think it would have made great BBQ as well. I do plan to try that next time. The can was a big can too. I think it was like 28 ounces or something. Enough to feed a whole bunch of us. And even better was the price. I only paid around $5 for a little over two pounds, instead of the $1 + I spend on the cans that are only around 5 ounces. If you can find some in your area, it is worth the price for the convenience of precooked ham that does not have to be kept cold.

So have you found any neat food items in your searches for good deals? Made anything tasty lately?

MIA

It seems I owe everyone an apology. My life is crazy and hectic right now. We have had court dates come up and be cancelled and new dates set. I have not been shopping to share deals in ages as I am saving up to pay for attorney costs, court costs, filing fees; it seems like the list never ends. I have been super busy at work since I have been taking time off for court dates that never happen. I have been trying hard to keep a positive attitude through all of this. I have been really struggling this last month in particular. I feel like I have so much to do, so many things that I want to accomplish, and just not enough time to get to all of it. So, I let you, my readers down. I am sorry for that. I will do my best to get here and post. It may not have much to do with deals and steals. It may just be random musings and updates on what is going on with my son and me.

I have been feeling down in the dumps for many reasons lately. I was told by my son several weeks ago that he needed more dental work done. This little boy, well not so little boy, is only nine years old and because of the poor nutrition and shoddy dental care has had to get eight cavities filled. While this was going on, because he is also stressed, he wound up mouth ulcers. I know they were painful. He hardly ever complains about pain, and yet he continually told me how his mouth hurt. My son had some dental work done earlier this year, and more done this fall, and who knows how much more before his dad is done ruining his teeth. Just last week they had to pull a tooth because the dental work done was not the greatest and because his teeth were in such bad shape, the tooth broke. So, out it came. He was terrified and when I called him, he was in tears because he was so afraid it was going to hurt. With my policy to never, ever lie to him, I told him it might hurt. He should ask his dad to tell the dentist that he was scared it would hurt. He told me his dad does not go in with him, he has to go in by himself and that scared him too. I swear I don't know what is wrong with that man. He did get the tooth pulled last week and thankfully he did not have any pain. Then he tells me that he got the flu shot. That was on Tuesday. Friday when I called he was sick. Saturday when I called he was sick again. "The doctor" said he had bronchitis. Or bronchy-itis as my son used to say. Then on Sunday he did not say anything about not feeling well. When I called last night, he was even sicker and this time he went to the doctor and he was diagnosed with the flu. If it was up to me, he would have never gotten the flu shot. I will save my rant on the flu shots for another day, but suffice it to say, I don't like them. In the midst of all of this, I have to keep hearing snide hateful comments from my ex, listen to my son repeat them because that is all he is hearing down there, and in general just feel stressed out by the upcoming court dates. And I only get every other weekend for a few hours to try to make up for all of it.

I don't mean all of this as a pity party. I don't even really want sympathy. I just wanted to let you know that I may not always post right now because it would not be very nice of me to post a bunch of negative things out here and bring you all down. I will try to get back on schedule of posting and try to keep them positive.

On an unrelated note, I have also been very worried about our economy, and the direction I see our government headed. What I see scares me. Not like the terrified, can't sleep at night sort of thing. The scared just enough to try to figure out what I need to do to be prepared for anything. Like job loss, outbreaks of swine flu that our local government over reacts to. You know, that sort of thing. I also have been stressed at work. There is a woman that I have to work with that is awful. You know the kind that wants credit for every good thing and blames you for every mistake. She has even tried to get me fired on more than one occasion. I used to not be too worried about it as I had a buffer. Now, the buffer got tired of working here and moved on. So, no more buffer. Then she has maintenance move her office so she is right next door to me. She comes in at least once a day to "say hello" or just "ask a question". I don't believe her for one second. She is back to her old tricks of complaining about me to everyone and anyone. Fortunately, most people are already onto her games and don't listen, but a few do. And those few could make my life hell. I am trying not to borrow trouble, but with this kind of person, I must always be ready and prepared as best as I can. She attacks when you least expect it.

So, I have been trying to be good at work, get things done at home, fret about finances, simmer and stew about my son, worry about the economy, and just try to keep a smile on my face and steam in my engines. I am certain that I am not accomplishing much these days, even though I feel like I am constatly on the go and pulled every which way.

Okay, after all my whining, how are you all doing? Better I sincerely hope.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Stop and visit Keely over at the UN Mom to see her random Tuesday thoughts. And don't forget to check out the other links to all the randomness. So without further ado, my randomness:

I am going to have to start doing my couponing thing again because I miss it. I miss the rush of the deals.

I have been listening to Jack over at SurvivalPodcast for a couple of days. He was recommended to me by a friend of mine. I can't say that I agree with everything that he says as they are his personal views, but I can say I have enjoyed listening to his show. It has been informative and in the forum area, there is even a topic of couponing to stock up! I especially liked that!

I have also been super busy at work. Work, work work yesterday and today. Where is my slow time at work going?

I went to Victoria Secrets this weekend to get a couple of new bras. Mine were broke down, ragged out sorts of things. Old too. I found a couple of really comfy ones that were even on sale. Now I understand why people pay so much for the stuff at Victoria Secrets. All I can say is I wish I had bought bras there before. I will definitely be back for a couple more when I can afford it.

S started school yesterday. I talked to him about it last night. He was really excited because his teacher was nice to him. He said she was pretty nice to everyone, but was really nice to him. I really hope that my talk with her last week was productive and she stays this way, if it is even the reason that she was so nice to him. She is going through a similar situation with her daughter and her ex and I hope that gives her empathy for our situation.

S also has a baseball party this weekend. They are meeting at a waterworks sort of place. I don't remember the name off the top of my head, but he was really wanting to go. I made a deal that I would bring S back two hours later on Saturday and deliver him to the water park two hours earlier than my usual drop off for the party. Because let's face it, the kid is not going to want to hang out with me on the sidelines while there are a bunch of slides and pools to play in. Then S tells me that he wants me to stay. If there seems to be a need for more supervision, then I will indeed stay, but if he is having fun and there are plenty of other parents, we may go a bit early to get a head start home. My guess though is that we will be staying so that someone is there to keep an eye on S. Which means that we ultimately be getting a late start home as the party is not over until six. I just am confused on why the party is now. The ball games have been over for over a month. Almost two months I think. Those people down there just make my head hurt. I can't even think about it.

The good news is my cats are still just as destructive as always. I say good news because if they were suddenly different, I would think invasion of the cat snatchers. They also have fleas. I have been trying to rid my cats and house of fleas for a couple of days now. So far, I don't have fleas. But if I start scratching behind my ear with my feet I will let you know. I also found out that I can get frontline at the store for a whole lot cheaper than the vets office. I did not even know the stores carried it. They learnt me sumthin new -as my son say now. I am totally going to have to work on that, the little hillbilly.

I think that is about all that I have in my head at all today. Apparently my brain is not holding much. But what can I say. I thought that yesterday was the 13th. I even dated all the paperwork that went through my office as the 13th. Even worse, I didn't know any different until I got to work today and looked at a calendar. Wow. To me today is the 14th. Must be almost time for the weekend.

ETA: When I did spell check, learnt is apparently a word. Yikes. I always though it was not a real word.

Flashback Friday

This is a Flashback Friday post, hosted by none other than ScaryMommy. Go check out all the other posts for Flashback Friday.

I don't actually have a post to flash back onto. Instead I am going to flash back to yesterday. I know, I know, that is not really flashing back to far, but my son was really funny yesterday.

While playing with my son yesterday, he had me rolling with laughter. What better way to spend my birthday, right? We played star wars as soon as we got there. He had the day planned to the minute, at least he told me he did. He puts on his cape so he can be Darth Vader. Plus he just wanted to wear it. He also wanted to ride his bike with the cape on to see if it flew behind him when he went really fast. It did. I even took a picture. We also spent some time talking about donkey's, burrows, and wild asses. Which if you watch Ice Age 2, then you might know why and what I am talking about. He just had the best time ever discussing the differences and why these animals all had "ass" in the name. Good times being a nine year old boy. Then we moved on the the topic of crafting. He wanted to make a few home made light sabers. So we haul out the craft tub and got to work. He kept telling me all about the way and reasons behind his project light saber. And kept up a running commentary about the different glitters and why some were better than others. We let those dry a bit, and in the meantime went back to playing star wars. He made me Darth Vader this time and told me to put on my cooper suit. Me-My cooper suit? What is that? S-You know, that black suit that D.V. wears. Me-Why is it called that?(thinking I had missed something somewhere) S-Because that is what D.V. says every time he breathes. Cooooooo Peeeerrrrrrr. Cooooooo Peerrrrrrrr. This just struck me as super funny. I had never noticed that, but that is exactly what it sounds like. So now we have D.V. and his cooper suit.
I also got a hands on demonstration on how his dad's cat is doing, and how it attacks. Let me tell you, if you have never seen a gangly nine year old boy trying to look small like a tiny kitten, you are truly missing something funny. That boy is all arms and legs, and he was trying to curl up and be small.

Just thinking about these conversations with my son has kept a smile in my heart. I just can't wait til he gets home so I can have these moments every day.

Update

I will be back on Friday. I am going to see my son for my birthday tomorrow. I will post my What to Cook Wednesday and Thankful Thursday on Friday. I do not have time to create the blog posts today. Have a happy couple of days until I return!

Happy birthday to me!

I am not sure if that thingy up there will work. I seem to be challenged when it comes to posting the link pictures. Whatever it does, do yourself a favor and go check out Keely's blog at The Unmom. Read through all the randomness floating around over there.

Random Thought Tuesday:

Wow is it ever stormy here. I came in to work this morning and thought perhaps I should be going home for the evening it was so dark.

I am researching work at home articles. I would love to create some kind of income working online. I realize it would not replace the job I have, but it could someday. I would love to be able to stay home on those dark mornings.

I slept like a log last night. It felt great. When the alarm went off this morning, I seriously did one of those sit straight up in bed things. I wasn't even sure what woke me up to start with. At least I did not see any bugs on my ceiling. That is always a good sign-no bugs.

I have a gazillion things to do tonight after I get off work. I leave for a visit with S tomorrow around noon. I have to finish washing all the blankets, pillows, clothes, dishes, etc, etc, for packing tonight so I can load tomorrow when I get off work and get the heck outta here.

My head hurts today. I don't know if it is the weather or just because the monitor for this computer is too big. It's like it has dinosaur-ific proportions. Which would be great if I was old and had bad eyes, or sat 10 feet away, but the monitor is about one foot away unless I stretch my arms and lean back, then I get two feet of clearance. It just makes my eyes hurt. I think I will order a different one.

My son was a chatty Kathy last night on our call. He is making grand plans for our visit. He is timing down to the minute. He told me what time we were eating all our meals. What time and what game we are playing at the top of each hour. I think it is funny when he does this. He will make all these plans, but when I get there he will change them and act like he doesn't know what I am talking about if I ask about the previous plans. He tells me I must be confused.

I am ready for lunch. I am starving. I have been hungry all morning. I had egg salad for breakfast. I know, I'm weird. At least it wasn't like live fish or something squirmy. Too bad it wasn't pizza.

Speaking of pizza, the pizza dude will be here shortly for lunch time deliveries. I need to eat my lunch first so I am not tempted to buy a pizza. And eat the whole thing. By myself. Those pizza's are sure making it hard to lose weight. And the donuts. And the whole box of macaroni and cheese. And the brownies...

Boring healthy lunch, here I come, dreaming you were something tasty.