This is a Flashback Friday post, hosted by none other than ScaryMommy. Go check out all the other posts for Flashback Friday.
I don't actually have a post to flash back onto. Instead I am going to flash back to yesterday. I know, I know, that is not really flashing back to far, but my son was really funny yesterday.
While playing with my son yesterday, he had me rolling with laughter. What better way to spend my birthday, right? We played star wars as soon as we got there. He had the day planned to the minute, at least he told me he did. He puts on his cape so he can be Darth Vader. Plus he just wanted to wear it. He also wanted to ride his bike with the cape on to see if it flew behind him when he went really fast. It did. I even took a picture. We also spent some time talking about donkey's, burrows, and wild asses. Which if you watch Ice Age 2, then you might know why and what I am talking about. He just had the best time ever discussing the differences and why these animals all had "ass" in the name. Good times being a nine year old boy. Then we moved on the the topic of crafting. He wanted to make a few home made light sabers. So we haul out the craft tub and got to work. He kept telling me all about the way and reasons behind his project light saber. And kept up a running commentary about the different glitters and why some were better than others. We let those dry a bit, and in the meantime went back to playing star wars. He made me Darth Vader this time and told me to put on my cooper suit. Me-My cooper suit? What is that? S-You know, that black suit that D.V. wears. Me-Why is it called that?(thinking I had missed something somewhere) S-Because that is what D.V. says every time he breathes. Cooooooo Peeeerrrrrrr. Cooooooo Peerrrrrrrr. This just struck me as super funny. I had never noticed that, but that is exactly what it sounds like. So now we have D.V. and his cooper suit.
I also got a hands on demonstration on how his dad's cat is doing, and how it attacks. Let me tell you, if you have never seen a gangly nine year old boy trying to look small like a tiny kitten, you are truly missing something funny. That boy is all arms and legs, and he was trying to curl up and be small.
Just thinking about these conversations with my son has kept a smile in my heart. I just can't wait til he gets home so I can have these moments every day.
Showing posts with label Flashback Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flashback Friday. Show all posts
Friday, August 7, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Flashback Friday
I have been following our hostess Scary Mommy for the past few weeks with the Flashback Fridays. This week I have nothing to flash back on, so I will just post this link to Jill, go read everyone else's flashbacks. This could be fun, let's go.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Flashback Friday
Flashback Friday is brought to you by Jill over at Scarymommy.com
I apologize! This post is long and rambly (is that a word?) and I only chose it because I am feeling sentimental today with my visit coming up tomorrow. You don't have to read it if you don't want to!
(Originally Posted) Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A Bond Between a Mother and a Son
Bear with me. This title may seem like it has nothing to do with my post, but hang in there and you will see the relevance.I tried to have a little fun teasing my son this past week. He was again reminding me what he had asked for for christmas. I was visiting this weekend and I got lots of reminders. And questions of if we were going to go and buy him some presents. I told him no of course. I was not buying any presents for him in front of him. We did go shopping and he had a lot of fun. I left him with my mom for a few minutes to pick out a present for me. Mom said he was very proud and impressed with his decisions. When he was done picking for me he wanted to go look at toys while my mom went to pay.And so it began, can I have this and this and this. No, No, NO! It is only a few days until christmas. My mom and I discussed this behavior after dropping my son off at his dad's. We have come to the conclusion that he does this because his dad puts him up to it. Not always in a fashion that points directly to him. More of a sneaky, I will pull one over on them type of thing. My ex will take my son to walmart, take him to the toy section and let him look at the toys. Now, there is nothing wrong with that. I do the same thing, because he likes to look at the toys and dream, "if I had lots of money". The problem begins when my son asks for something. Instead of saying no and being done with it, my ex says well sure you can have it if you buy it. Or he will say something along the lines of he does not get child support, so he can't afford it. Like my son should even be in a discussion about whether or not my ex gets child support. Or lastly, he tells my son, sure you can have it, just tell your mom to get it for you. Your mom should buy that for you. Then I take my son to walmart because he wants to go and "look". I end up with some sort of no I am not buying that for you today discussion with my son, because his dad said he should ask me. Not very nice for my little boy who thought that he would get a toy. Here is where this phenomenon gets interesting. This does not pass on to other stores. Since my ex only goes to walmart and lowe's, I can take my son to kmart and avoid the battles altogether. So, we now just go to kmart. It is as if my son does not realize that he could ask at other stores. I know that he wants "stuff" from kmart because he will point out toys that are "neat" or stuff he just wants. But he does not beg for them. I tell him we are just looking and that's what he does.Anyway, we ended up at walmart because none of the other stores had the present they (my mom and my son) were looking for and we ended up looking in the toys section while mom paid. We did make it out without any purchases. After all, it is almost christmas. Oh, but the "I can't wait" was fun. It was too long and too many days according to my son. I can still remember the agony of waiting those last few days.After mom was done paying he wanted to take my mom to see the games that he wanted for the nintendo ds. He was trying really hard to figure the best way to get them all. I could buy this game, Grammy could buy this one, Auntie could get this one, Uncle could get this one, and maybe Papa (grandpa) could get this one. And could he get one from his cousins. We then explained that since his cousins belonged to Auntie and Uncle, they would not be buying him an expensive game, and since Auntie and Uncle are married, they will not be buying separate games. He can get one from their whole family. And Grammy had already bought him some presents. We then discovered that he thought Santa would bring the ds and not bring any games. We quickly told him that Santa does not bring a game system and nothing to play on it. Well, that made him feel much better. So Santa brings the ds and a game, mom will get a game and Papa will get him a game, or two since his will be coming from GameStop.My son asked me last night if I had his presents yet. I told him no I forgot I was supposed to get you anything. Did we talk about that, did you say you wanted presents. I thought you did not want any presents this year. He informed me that he knew better, he knew that I would have presents for him. I asked him how he knew that and the answer he gave me touched my heart.He said to me that he knew I would bring him presents because I always do what I say for him, and I don't let him down, and I don't give up on him. He knows he can trust me.All that from an eight year old. I really wished right then that I could give him a great big squeezy hug. Instead we finished talking and I finished shopping when we were done.All of this behavior and especially the conversations makes me feel as if I have an unbreakable bond with my son. I figure I must be doing something right. After nearly two years of limited visits, monitored phone calls, and constant hearing of negative name calling talk about me, my son still loves me and trusts me totally. I know that his father said more than once before he got custody that if he had custody it would be the opposite of when I had him. My son would like him and want to stay with him and not like me and not want to go with me. I look at our situation and see that no matter how much he wants it not to be true, my son still loves me and wants to come home. And home is with mom, not dad. Even after almost two years, I am still Home. I am the rock and the safety. Most importantly, I am the love. I know that some folks may not approve of how I raised my son, and that is part of why I lost him, but how many of those that spoke ill of me could have said the same were they in this situation? How many people in general can say that they know their children have complete faith and trust in them? Even though I have not fixed this problem, my son knows that eventually I will. He still has a faith that mom will make it all right. Because he is my son, and my heart, I will make it all right. That is part of the unbreakable bond between a mom and her child.I would like to add a small disclaimer. I do know families that can say their children trust them completely. I know several that cannot, but I do know of tight strong families. My sister is one of them. I also have the feeling based on the posts from the pound, and their blogs, moms there could also say it. (Right Jmo, even when your child grows up and leaves home, they know where the heart is!)
A Bond Between a Mother and a Son
Bear with me. This title may seem like it has nothing to do with my post, but hang in there and you will see the relevance.I tried to have a little fun teasing my son this past week. He was again reminding me what he had asked for for christmas. I was visiting this weekend and I got lots of reminders. And questions of if we were going to go and buy him some presents. I told him no of course. I was not buying any presents for him in front of him. We did go shopping and he had a lot of fun. I left him with my mom for a few minutes to pick out a present for me. Mom said he was very proud and impressed with his decisions. When he was done picking for me he wanted to go look at toys while my mom went to pay.And so it began, can I have this and this and this. No, No, NO! It is only a few days until christmas. My mom and I discussed this behavior after dropping my son off at his dad's. We have come to the conclusion that he does this because his dad puts him up to it. Not always in a fashion that points directly to him. More of a sneaky, I will pull one over on them type of thing. My ex will take my son to walmart, take him to the toy section and let him look at the toys. Now, there is nothing wrong with that. I do the same thing, because he likes to look at the toys and dream, "if I had lots of money". The problem begins when my son asks for something. Instead of saying no and being done with it, my ex says well sure you can have it if you buy it. Or he will say something along the lines of he does not get child support, so he can't afford it. Like my son should even be in a discussion about whether or not my ex gets child support. Or lastly, he tells my son, sure you can have it, just tell your mom to get it for you. Your mom should buy that for you. Then I take my son to walmart because he wants to go and "look". I end up with some sort of no I am not buying that for you today discussion with my son, because his dad said he should ask me. Not very nice for my little boy who thought that he would get a toy. Here is where this phenomenon gets interesting. This does not pass on to other stores. Since my ex only goes to walmart and lowe's, I can take my son to kmart and avoid the battles altogether. So, we now just go to kmart. It is as if my son does not realize that he could ask at other stores. I know that he wants "stuff" from kmart because he will point out toys that are "neat" or stuff he just wants. But he does not beg for them. I tell him we are just looking and that's what he does.Anyway, we ended up at walmart because none of the other stores had the present they (my mom and my son) were looking for and we ended up looking in the toys section while mom paid. We did make it out without any purchases. After all, it is almost christmas. Oh, but the "I can't wait" was fun. It was too long and too many days according to my son. I can still remember the agony of waiting those last few days.After mom was done paying he wanted to take my mom to see the games that he wanted for the nintendo ds. He was trying really hard to figure the best way to get them all. I could buy this game, Grammy could buy this one, Auntie could get this one, Uncle could get this one, and maybe Papa (grandpa) could get this one. And could he get one from his cousins. We then explained that since his cousins belonged to Auntie and Uncle, they would not be buying him an expensive game, and since Auntie and Uncle are married, they will not be buying separate games. He can get one from their whole family. And Grammy had already bought him some presents. We then discovered that he thought Santa would bring the ds and not bring any games. We quickly told him that Santa does not bring a game system and nothing to play on it. Well, that made him feel much better. So Santa brings the ds and a game, mom will get a game and Papa will get him a game, or two since his will be coming from GameStop.My son asked me last night if I had his presents yet. I told him no I forgot I was supposed to get you anything. Did we talk about that, did you say you wanted presents. I thought you did not want any presents this year. He informed me that he knew better, he knew that I would have presents for him. I asked him how he knew that and the answer he gave me touched my heart.He said to me that he knew I would bring him presents because I always do what I say for him, and I don't let him down, and I don't give up on him. He knows he can trust me.All that from an eight year old. I really wished right then that I could give him a great big squeezy hug. Instead we finished talking and I finished shopping when we were done.All of this behavior and especially the conversations makes me feel as if I have an unbreakable bond with my son. I figure I must be doing something right. After nearly two years of limited visits, monitored phone calls, and constant hearing of negative name calling talk about me, my son still loves me and trusts me totally. I know that his father said more than once before he got custody that if he had custody it would be the opposite of when I had him. My son would like him and want to stay with him and not like me and not want to go with me. I look at our situation and see that no matter how much he wants it not to be true, my son still loves me and wants to come home. And home is with mom, not dad. Even after almost two years, I am still Home. I am the rock and the safety. Most importantly, I am the love. I know that some folks may not approve of how I raised my son, and that is part of why I lost him, but how many of those that spoke ill of me could have said the same were they in this situation? How many people in general can say that they know their children have complete faith and trust in them? Even though I have not fixed this problem, my son knows that eventually I will. He still has a faith that mom will make it all right. Because he is my son, and my heart, I will make it all right. That is part of the unbreakable bond between a mom and her child.I would like to add a small disclaimer. I do know families that can say their children trust them completely. I know several that cannot, but I do know of tight strong families. My sister is one of them. I also have the feeling based on the posts from the pound, and their blogs, moms there could also say it. (Right Jmo, even when your child grows up and leaves home, they know where the heart is!)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Flashback Friday
I am going to follow the "theme" that Jill over at Scarymomy started with her Flashback Friday. You know those uncomfortable questions that you are not quite sure what to say or how sarcastic you should be in your response. Go check out her post! After reading mine first of course!!!
( I would like to add that now that my atty is making progess in this case, I am not feeling quite as bad as I was. I am feeling much more confident and certain that my son will come home, and things will work out the way they are meant to be-my son home.)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
How do you do it?
How do you do it?I just don't know how you do it.How do you do this?How do you make that trip so often?How, how, how.I hear that an awful lot. I always have the same answer. I do this because I have to. I really do not have any choice. Sure I could not go. But is that really an option? This is my son here. I will do whatever needs be done to see him, and try to bring him home. If that means getting another job, ok. If that means no time or money for any extras and eating beans for dinner every nite, then that is what I would do. Thankfully for me (and my co-workers) I have not been reduced to beans every night.Often folks tell me that they could not do this. I am so strong for being able to stand this. They don't know how I get through this. How do I get up and function every day? The truth is I don't. What choice do I have though? I have trouble sleeping, I have nightmares when I do get to sleep. I find that I am irritable. I have been told a couple of times by the gals that I work with that I am being crabby. ( I am just glad that I work with people who are not afraid to tell me I am being grouchy. Then I can try to adjust my attitude and not take things out on them.) I am often short tempered with my family. I do not attend any family functions because it hurts too much. I used to go to my sister's house with my mom and we would have dinner all of us girls. My sister's husband works on second and she has two little girls. I used to want to take my mom or my sister and her girls with me when I went shopping. Now I only take someone when I am going to one of the grocery stores that are about 40 minutes away. That way the cost of gas is offset by the savings that all of us receive. I have tried to go on a couple of family outings, but I do not have as much fun as I used to. I try to avoid family get-togethers. I feel like something is missing. And it is. My heart and soul are missing. My son is missing.I have talked briefly to one of the pastors at the church that my sister belongs to and I rent a house from. They are willing to listen, but do not feel that they are qualified to help me in any way. This is beyond what they are trained to deal with. I cannot go to "traditional" therapy because that would be like waving a red flag in the air that I am "not mentally stable" to my ex and his attorney. Now mind you I would be getting therapy for the stress this is causing me and how to help my son deal with his stress and unhappiness.I cannot talk to support groups because there are none. I do not fit traditional support groups because my child did not die and he is not missing. He is lost, but not in the sense of the support group. You cannot find support groups for this because of the "symptoms" of the diagnosis of MSBP. According to the "symptoms" if I talk about this I am seeking attention and must have this MSBP. If I do not seek help, then I must have it because I won't talk about it. So I have decided that there is no point in keeping quiet.That is where this blog comes in. I get to vent out all of my feelings and start getting the awareness out there. This can happen to any mom out there. I get to use this blog to type out whatever I am feeling at the time. If I am frustrated and want to repeat myself 10 times over something that my ex said or did to my son or to me, then I can. No one tells me they are tired of hearing it, there's nothing we can do, or try to change the subject. If I put it on here, You can just skip over it. :) And that is okay. I know that there are not lots of people out there reading this and that is okay. It makes me feel better just putting it out there. In this very unhappy time of my life, I can at least get some satisfaction through this blog.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Flashback Friday
I am going to try to remember to participate every Friday in Flashback Friday, hosted by Jill over at ScaryMommy. Now my blog has not been around long enough to have flashbacks from the blog. I also have only had a digital camera for a short while. I do have a picture to share though. My son has had a camera for about three years now. This picture represents about half of all the pictures that I have from my son S.
I mostly throw these pictures away after a while, when I think that S won't notice that they are missing. Now I can keep them forever on a disc because what fun to show S the super photographer he used to be! I do have to admit however, he is getting better. I swear I have not seen an up and close eye ball shot for a couple of months! Or the ever popular "Up the Nose See all My Nose Hairs" type of shot.
Gee, what will I do with no more nose hair shots?
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