Just Call Me BI***

Holy Hell and Halleluiah! I am back into my single digit pants. I put on my clothes this morning and wasn't really paying attention. I had some work pants that were not in the right spot (I am anal and the clothes are in "order" with capris, then work pants, then jeans, all from lightest to darkest-it's no wonder I HATE to put things away-can you say OCD! and run-on sentence) and after trying on clothes the other day and moving things around after trying them on based on what fit, didn't fit and were too big now. I could not remember why I moved these pants (hell, I can hardly remember anything anymore) and so I put the other pair of pants in their rightful home and put these on. I finished getting dressed.

I just went to the bathroom (okay nothing gross here) and was sitting on the pot, obviously, and looked at the tags on my pants. Come on, admit it, you guys look at your tags when you go to the bathroom too, RIGHT? I am not weird? Please say yes you look too, or else I will totally know why I attract the weirdos.

They are single digits!!!!! They are 8's. I know why now that I moved these pants. Two weeks ago I could not get them on and they were moved because I did not want to try to wear them before work and realize that I could not get them on and feel fat. Cuz, you know, that totally ruins your whole day. Walking around the whole day feeling fat is such a downer.

Now here comes the weirdest part. I have not dieted for the past two to three weeks. I have lived off pizza, Mickie D's other fast food. I don't think I have cooked anything except for popcorn, if that counts as cooking. In addition to all the alcohol that has been running through my system for the past several days. (Marguaritas with my BFF K on Friday and lots of Smirnoff Ice on Saturday. Oh and some celebratory shots that I don't even know what they were, but they were a pretty color. Another friend was celebrating on Saturday and of course I had to help her!) How in the hell did I lose weight while eating/drinking like this? And can I bottle it to share with the rest of the ladies in the world? Cuz I know for damn sure that if I could bottle this and everyone could do the same, I would totally be rich. And SKINNY. And so would you. I would totally share it with you, Friends. We would be rich and skinny together. Cuz it's always more fun together. Wait, I am talking about being skinny here, keep your mind out of the gutter, although that is more fun together than alone as well.....