Nut Magnet

Apparently I attract the weirdos. And I am not sure they are harmless.

Let me start by telling you why I was not dating. A few years ago I ran into this guy who seemed super nice. We chatted for a while and I gave him my phone number. He was divorced like me. He did not have any kids, but his exwife had a kid with her previous husband and was the "dad". He had a steady job. He had manners. All good points. Then he started calling. And calling. Then started talking about his exwife in terms of wife, not ex. Then told me she got a restraining order from him, but he just did not know why. He just wanted to see her and the kid. UM, dude, you can stop calling me now. He did not stop calling for at least a week, until I stopped answering his phone calls. Blechhhhh.

Fast forward several months. I meet another guy. Same story, steady job, lived a little closer than the last guy, not married but had kids. Spent some time talking on the phone and he was nice enough. About a three days into this, I get a text message. I asked him to not send them because I did not have a plan for texting and had to pay for them. He says okay. Then a few days later, I get a text message again. At three in the morning.  I am sorry, but no one, I mean NO ONE had better send me a text message at three in the fucking morning unless someone is dying or dead. And what pray-tell was so important to tell me at 3 am? He was IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!! Oh no, no no no no no. NO YOU DON'T. You do not love me after a week. So I sent back a snarky text message telling him that I didn't want to hear that and I thought I said no more text messages. Oh, but he thought I would want to know and he's sorry to send the message. To which I responded then stop sending these. I don't want a text message and I don't want to talk to you anymore. To which he responds he really is sorry and please will I keep talking to him? DELETE. I blocked his number too.

So that is why I did not date. I attract the freaks. The weirdos. The stalker crazy dudes that will kill you if you go behind the building with them. Then I started my dating recently again. I decided to take advantage of my son not being home and needing to find babysitters to go out. I thought, Self, you might as well do something now while you can. Get out there and see if you can meet Mr. Right For Now. See what happens, see where it leads. And if it's the bedroom, that is A-OK. Everyone needs a little love. Go get some.
Then I am introduced to guy number one. We will call him H. And he is a texter. Fortunately I have unlimited everything on my phone now so at least I was not paying for the million individual texts that he sent. A little over the top, but harmless as far as things go. He comes over to visit and hang out one evening. No hanky panky, just chatting. He goes home and sends me text messages on his way home. WTF? You were just here. What ever dude. Then he calls the next night. I asked him about sending the text messages and he said he just really enjoyed talking to me and was sad the evening was over. Whatevs dude. Except we end up talking on the phone for a long time. I did enjoy the conversation, but this was totally monopolizing my time. He says he won't be able to talk the next day because he had church the following evening and he was going to take his mom as she doesn't drive. Fine by me. I needed to get ready for my trip to see S. Except he showed up at my house. No church after all. He wasn't going because his mom didn't want to go. Ok, well I have to pack some. No problem, he can chat while I get my stuff ready. I tell him tomorrow will not be good as it was my last day home before my trip and I wanted to get more stuff done that I had been putting off. He calls and can he pretty please come over. Whatever, I have stuff to do. He comes over and stays way too late, despite me\y efforts to get him out early and get to bed. Then sends me text messages all day and evening on Friday wishing me a good trip and a good time. I don't respond. First of all I was driving and second of all I need a break.
As I was leaving though, on Friday, I put it out there to the universe that if I was supposed to be with H and we should keep talking, let the radio be silent and no one flirt with me. Dead ass radio on Friday night. I wondered if I had my answer. I had a good time with S. Then as I am dropping S off at his dad's I get another text from him. Now, dude, I told you I would not be available until at least Monday. BACK OFF. I ignore the first couple of texts. Then I get pissed, pull over at a gas station and tell him that it was my weekend with my son and I had no interest in talking to him. I would see him when I got home. He sends one back and said that no problem your son should always come first. I chose to not answer that one because if he thought my son should come first, then why was he bothering me with text messages? And what do you know? The radio was not silent. The guys on the road chatted with me. I actually drove for a long time (many miles and hours) with the same drivers chatting back and forth. We even stopped to get coffee together. I think I got my answer. If I was even interested in stopping to talk to someone new, I was not that interested in H.

He wanted to come over Monday night and I told him no. Then he did end up coming over a couple of days later with some movies he thought I would enjoy. He brought me chick flicks and love movies. WTF? I like scary movies and slasher movies and action movies. The gory-er the better. Since when did he think I would watch a chick flick. I even told him that I didn't like those kind of movies. Then he starts telling me how he would change me and how he would go about changing someone like me that does not like to be told what to do. I got pissed. I told him he was not going to change me and if he didn't like hearing me cuss/watch scary movies/whatever, he could leave, I fucking cuss and he can get the fuck over it. He just laughed and smiled like I was a child and he was indulging me. I did not have him over or talk to him for a few days so I could digest what he told me. I talked to my friend about it cuz I did not want to over react, even though I had met someone new just the past weekend that I prefered talking to.

When I next talked to H, I was telling him how I talked to my friend about some problems that she was having with her daughter and misbehaving. The bastard had the audacity to say my friend must be a bad mom because his kids did not behave badly. What?! You don't ever insult my friends. EVER motherfucker. I told him that was completely asinine on his part to assume that and that I was pissed that he would think that without any shred of evidence showing that. What kind of people do you think I hang out with? And how can you just assume that she's a bad mom because her daughter is acting out? I wasn't looking for advice, just sharing something that made me feel bad because I could not help my friend. My best friend no less, and someone I have been friends with for over 20 years. NO ONE insults my friends. I asked him to leave at that point. I even tried to give back his (unwatched) movies and he would not take them. I knew at that point we would not ever last long term. He could not do even the simplest thing to my satisfaction. All I wanted was for him to take his movies back and he wouldn't. Even though he knew I would not watch them. Then the new text messages started in earnest. Beginning the next day with text messages wanting to know where I was. How much he missed me, he wanted to talk to me, he wanted to see me again. I finally got pissed and texted back to him that I did not want him to miss me and which part of I did not want a relationship with him did he not get. He got pissed finally and said that maybe we should go our seperate ways. No hard feelings. What? I already have hard feelings you dumbass. You insulted my friend and treated me like an idiot that needs someone to tell me how to behave. So I responded as nicely as I possibly could that yes that is (obviously) what I wanted and we should both move on. I would get his movies back to him some other time when I was available to get them to him.

I did not share with him, obviously, that I had already moved on and was talking to guy number two, whom we shall call C. Who by the way was totally hot. And way sexy. And interested in me too. And thought I was hot too. Now, I ask you, who doesn't want a totally hot guy that thinks you are totally hot too? But more on that tomorrow.