Yet Another Thankful Post, Just Like All the Others Your Already Read

I know that everyone is posting their thanks today, but I am going to add mine.

I don't have my son home like I feel he should be. However, I got to talk to him for a while today and for that I'm thankful. I still get to see him, which his dad would liked to have prevented. I am thankful that I still get to have visits.

I talked to my mom today. She was home alone and we enjoyed our conversation. I couldn't be there today, my sister was working, and she didn't have the money or desire to try to drive a ways to visit her mom. However, we both got to talk to each other, she talked to her mom, she talked to my sister. We are all okay and alive. For that I am thankful.

I obviously am thankful for many other things, but those are the important ones. I still get to see my son and I still have my loved ones in my life. Even if I can't go see them, I can still talk to them and hear their voices. Thanks to the powers that be.

What About That?

I have read several blogs lately that have talked about change. As in change in their lives. Big changes you notice immediately. Small changes that you don't even know changed the course of your life until later, upon reflection.

I think spring is a good time for reflection on your life, and a great time for implementing changes. It is a time to start fresh. A time to let yourself bloom. We can all be flowers. We need to open ourselves up to the change that happens to us. If you want things to change in your life, you need to figure out what it is exactly that you want to change. Sit down, write it out, visualize it.

I know that there are many things in my life I want to change. I am getting ready to make some big life changes. I will be quitting my job, moving, starting another job, hopefully getting my son back home, and getting married. All by the end of this year. These are all major life changes.

But it will be the small changes and decisions that I make that will make the most difference. Obviously moving and a new job will have an effect, but I see that coming. I can prepare for it. The things I can't prepare for are the ones that will have the most profound effect on me. The ones I don't see coming will be the ones that could throw me for a loop. These are the ones that define a person.

I hope that I can respond to the new differences in my life with tact. Mostly. I hope that I can be calm and collected. What I hope most, though, is that the life changes don't break me down, or defeat me.

How do you deal with the life changes that are thrown your way? You know, the little ones that change the course of your life, but you didn't see it coming? Are you strong and decisive, or have you let them defeat you before coming to terms with them?

She's Moved

Well, what an intersting weekend this was for the move.

It all started with the drive down. I don't know about all of you guys, but I am sick to death of snow and ice. especially since I have to keep driving in it. I left work early, which I planned to do anyway, but instead of going home and just being there for a while, I left home almost immediately. Which was a good thing. The first road I was on was a state route and they were plowing, but it was coming down faster than they could get it cleared back off. And of course everyone was driving really really slow. I am a total lead foot and don't like to drive slow, especially when I know the roads are just snowy and not slick. I did eventually get out from behind the slow drivers and the rest of us made good time. I made it through all the small towns and got onto the interstate.

The interstate was awful. The plow trucks had plowed and salted so there was a lot of slick icy slush. It was not fun to drive in. The big trucks were still passing me and as they passed, they threw the slush up on my windshield making it so I couldn't see until they were all the way around me. I had to drive on this interstate for about 55 miles. It took well over an hour. I slipped and slided on several occasions. I saw lots of other cars sliding too.

The next interstate was just as bad to start with. There was not quite as much snow on the road, but as I was driving I realized it was also a lot more ice than the other road had. Several cars went off the side of the road in front of me. A couple went too far into the ditch to be able to get back out, but several slid to the edge and when their tires caught traction on the grass they stopped without trouble. I watched one try to just get right back on, like it had never happened. This interstate drive was over 100 miles. After about 45 minutes the snow started turning to rain. Then just a few more miles down the road, it was all rain. I was able to make good time after that.

I switched interstates one more time to get to my cousin's town. I found my exit with no problem and made the first couple of turns on the directions I had printed from online. Then I could not find the road I was supposed to turn on. So, I backtracked to the interstate and started over thinking maybe I had started off wrong. No such luck. The road was not where it was supposed to be according to my directions. I went back to the main road and parked in the Wags parking lot. Gotta love that I can find the Wags anywhere. I sent a text to my cousin telling her to come and get me. In the meantime, I sent text messages back and forth with MM. I called my son. And then my cousin showed up. I followed her to the wine store. We backtracked to go to her house.

We ended up going straight to bed because we were all exhausted. I am sleeping in her room as there is not anywhere else to sleep as she has everything packed up. As we are laying there, we could hear her cats making a lot of racket. She did not want the cats to wake up her step dad so she went to see what they were doing. And I thought she was going to die laughing with embarassment. They were having sex! Her male cat is fixed, but the new female cat that she found last summer is not. We had a really good laugh over that. She said they had never done that before. I said they just had been being sneaky and hiding it from mom!

We separated the cats and went to bed. We all slept okay. My cousin and her step dad went and got donuts and the truck while I stayed there. She also had some friends showing up from work. About an hour and a half later, we had her all packed and loaded and were finishing cleaning the house up. We swept and mopped and then it was time to go. I followed them a  little ways, but they were stopping to load her car on a tow dolly. I gave her hugs and started on my way.

The drive home was uneventful. The roads were clear and my car made it the whole way. And of course that was the last time I would be driving to see her. I could probably drive to her new home, but it will be about 5-6 hours instead of 3 1/2 to 4.

And so that was the weekend for moving. No wine cuz there was no time. Bad slick roads going to pick up her step dad, not enough time to eat our pizza (which was really good btw) before picking him up, the ride home even worse, and the cats having sex when we were trying to go to bed. It's always a trip when we get together. It's also always a good time.

Little Life Lessons

I was at Target. It had been a long day with S. He was being pretty good, all things considered. Shopping was not one of his strong suits. It still isn't as far as I can tell. We got to the checkout and I started plopping all the junk on the counter. This was always a big deal as S always had to ride in the back with his backpack and unload all his stuff to play with while I was shopping. We get all the stuff scanned, bagged and loaded back into the cart. We walked (I walk, he rides) over towards the door. I started picking all his "treasures" that must be carried with him everywhere he went. And trust me, that was no small task. The kid had more treasures than anyone I have ever known.

I got both of our coats on and off we went. We get to my car. (Man, I miss that car. That would be the one I wrecked twice, and boy was it my favorite car ever!) I loaded our bags into the trunk. I loaded S's backpack. I went to lift him out of the cart and realized that I had a small package laying in the cart still. It was the mascara that I had picked up. I knew immediately that I had not paid for it.

I pushed the cart right back into the store and went to the customer service desk. I took out the mascara and told the girl at the desk that I needed to pay for it. I found it in the bottom of the cart when I was unloading and now needed to pay. She stared at me. I said again that I needed to pay for the mascara. She actually asked me if I was for real. I had no idea what she meant. I said excuse me? She then proceeded to tell me that in the whole time she worked there, she had never heard of anyone coming back to pay for something that made it out of the store. I asked her again to please ring it up. She told me to wait just a minute. She picked up the phone and called someone. This faceless person showed up a moment later. It was a manager. She got the "story" from the girl behind the desk. She looked at me and said she didn't understand why I would bring it back in. I told them to just ring the mascara up so I could get on my way home. She rang it up and told me she was sorry for their reaction, but that this was unheard of. No one comes back in to pay for something once they are out.

My response to these two gals? I looked at them, then looked at my son, who was taking in everything that was being said. I then told them that I had to bring it back to pay. What kind of example would I be if I taught my son at four years old that it was okay to steal as long as no one catches you? What kind of person would I be in his eyes if he thought I was not trustworthy? What in the world could I have done differently that would not shape my son's view of life into something a little less positive and right? Nothing. I had to show him the proper way to live and be. The proper way to behave. I certainly was not going to teach my four year old that it's okay to steal. They were completely flabbergasted by that. They had never heard of anyone saying something like that.

I look back at this situation and have several thoughts. The first being, what kind of employees do these stores hire if they expect people to steal and are shocked when they don't. The whole planet is not a bunch of thieves.

The second being that I hope I made a good impression on all involved in the deal. I hope that my son learned a lesson that stealing is not okay. And I really, really hope that those two gals could look at people a little differently, and maybe not so cynically. Look at people and see that there might be some good in there.

Roads Not Taken

Do you remember when you went to get your drivers license? I still do. And to this day, I still do not know how I passed. I think the lady felt bad for me. Or else she wanted to get the crazy hormonal teenager away from her. Yes, I was that girl that always had the periods during the months events. Like birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever. If there was an occasion that month, I was PMSing.

Anyway, the drivers test. I had to wait until the day after my birthday to go and take the test and I was totally annoyed by that. I mean who the hell has to wait until the day after? Well, probably a lot of people, but a one-day-past-her-sixteenth-pms-from-hell-just-wants-her-friggin-license girl doesn't want to hear that. So off my mom and I go to the DL office. Then of course they are super busy cuz it is the only one for our entire county. I was hot (did I mention my birthday is in August?) and cranky and just wanted to take my test to get away from my mom. Because no teenage girl wants to sit anywhere with their mom. How uncool is that? Then my number is called and I get to go drive!! So we get in after checking that all the lights work okay and strap ourselves in. Because nobody wants to die in a car being driven by a teenager that hasn't even passed the test yet. So we drive around this area called Friendly town. That way when you already have your license you know to avoid that area of town so you don't get run over by a new driver.

Anyway, I am super nervous, cuz failing is not an option. How embarrassing would that be since all my friends passed the first time. Why yes, I was the youngest of my friends. So after making a series of small mistakes that apparently don't count off for too much, I turn the wrong way. She says turn one way, and I totally go the opposite way. It wasn't on a one way road at least. I freaked out. I started saying over and over how I realized that I just went the wrong way. I went the wrong way. Do you want me to turn around? Where can I turn around at? Do you just want me to go around the block? I can try to use someone's driveway and turn around! Do you follow some sort of path and we totally need to turn around to get us back on track?

At this point, I think the poor lady wanted to jump from my car as I am driving down the road. She keeps telling me that it's okay, don't panic. Stay the direction we are going. It was not any particular route. We can go anywhere. It's okay. It's okay. While secretly crossing her fingers hoping to make it out alive.

She then directs us right back the the DL office. I'm still not sure she thought we would make it. Can you imagine how scary a job that must be? But anyway we get back and I am near tears saying I understand that she can't pass me because I can't even follow directions. I will just come back. How long do I have to wait before I can try again? Can it be the next day? She grimaces and says I passed and there is no need to come back. You think she was trying to get rid of me? Well, regardless, I got my mug shot and got my plastic. And of course life was never the same. Especially since I totalled my mom's car a few months later. Yeah. Good times.

Finally, A Court Date

Finally. Well, last Tuesday I had the first hearing. It was a joke of a court room. It was held in a civil court setting where all the cases are just argued out there in front of the whole room. People were in and out of the courtroom the whole time. The door was loud and it was distracting every time it slammed shut. My case was called as the second hearing. Unfortunately my ex and his atty were not there yet so we had to wait until the last case was heard. While we waited our turn, we actually heard a case where one man was sueing another for money just in case the leasing company sued him after an accident that happened over six years ago. What is wrong with the people in that particular area? It totally blew my mind all the cases I heard that morning. Finally it was our turn. We were there to argue whether to be allowed to have a hearing and if my son could keep the atty that had already been appointed. First, my ex's atty gets up and talks about how unusual this case was and it was his first time fighting a case like this, the first time as far as he knew for the county. Then says that the case should be summarily dismissed because I am crazy. They all said so. *insert me rolling my eyes* Then my atty gets up and states that is not true and the entire case is disputed facts therefore the case could not be summarily dismissed. SURPRISE: the judge agreed with my atty! That is a first!!!! That means we progress to depositions, discovery and a custody hearing.

Next up was the issue with the GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) that was already appointed for my son. The ex's atty actually said that he did not know if any of the allegations made by me were true or not but that did not matter. What mattered was that I was ordered to carry health insurance, but since I stated that I could not afford it, I could obviously not afford to pay the GAL and therefore the cost would fall to his client. No GAL should be appointed and set aside the order. My atty got up and stated that no court costs that have been remanded to me have been unpaid. I have fulfilled my court cost obligation every time and there was no indication that I would not pay these costs. Then my ex's atty gets up and says there is a new State Supreme Court ruling that says that only in extraordinary cases can the child have a GAL. The judge asked him what was his definition of extraordinary. Yes, the judge asked my ex's atty to provide the definition of an extraordinary for the court. WTF?!?!?!? The ex's atty said he did not know. So the judge said that he would set aside the GAL order. Actually he said that so many orders were filed with the courts to be filed that there was no way for the judges to always know what they were signing and they always got one side or the other mad for signing orders. I simply cannot believe what transpires in the courts down there. It is insane.

So, while we lost the GAL for S we do still get to go to court. We will just have to find another way around the issue. Next up is trying to get dates set for the depositions and such. I don't have a date for them yet. Hopefully soon.

On a personal note, I met someone. I have been on a couple of dates with him and so far we are getting along great. My dad introduced us one night a few months ago. He is a bit older than me. Well a lot actually. He is about 20 years older than me. So far no one in my family has been bothered by it. I thought they might be, but they don't seem to care. Pretty much all they have said so far is they don't care about his age or skin color, just how he treats me. So far, only with respect. He better or he'll be on the curb with the rest of them. I won't go into any details yet, mostly because other than sitting and talking to get to know each other there are not any details.

I also wanted to put in a mention for all those that want to whiten their teeth, I found a product that actually worked. For me at least. (I get nothing for mentioning this-they don't even know I exist.) Aquafresh White Trays are what I used. They were fabulous. I have sensitive teeth and other whitening products hurt my teeth or caused even more sensitivity. These White Trays were really easy to use, they did not make my teeth hurt and you only use them for seven days. I can totally live with that. My mom said that she can really tell a big difference in the color of my teeth. YEAH! Money well spent.

That pretty much brings you all up to speed with everything. I will let you know when I get some more dates for the custody issues. Hope this finds you all well.